yo Page 642 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Punishes Jets For Exposed Body Part That Is Not Brett Favre's Penis
The league has fined the Jets $100,000 for Sal Alosi's wandering foot, which probably comes to something like $10,000 per inch. If that's the going rate, Brett Favre totally got railroaded....

Ohio State Players Who Took Discounted Stuff Will Return For Another Year Of Nominally Unpaid Labor
The Tattooed Five will be back in Columbus next year, per an agreement with Jim Tressel, who will teach the players a hard lesson about not paying for stuff by bringing them back for another year of unpaid football....

Favre To Be Fined For Texts
Reports have Roger Goodell fining, but not suspending Brett Favre for his actions in the Jenn Sterger scandal....

I'm Kind Of Starting To Enjoy Sidney Crosby, And Other Random <em>NHL 24/7</em> Observations
Last night was the second of four HBO 24/7: Penguins/Capitals: The Road to the Winter Classic episodes. Here, a few thoughts more disjointed than Matt Hendricks's face....

The OSU Punishments Are An Embarrassment To The NCAA, And Show Exactly Who Cares About Bowl Games
Terrelle Pryor and four other Buckeyes will miss five games next year, but will play in this year's Sugar Bowl. An odd punishment, one that illustrates the corporate interests at play and the apparent validity of the "I didn't know" defense....

Don't Worry: In The Event Of An NFL Lockout, Bob Costas Will Still Get Paid
Here's a letter from Mary Cavallaro of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. In it, she assures the NFL broadcasters among her membership that they'll still get paid their current salary even if there are no NFL games to broadcast....

Rex Ryan's Awkwardest Of Press Conferences
Rex Ryan is facing the assembled media for his regularly-scheduled press conference. Let's watch!...

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Seahawks Fan Hit By Jet's Giant Snowball Wants Some Money
You'll recall the Jets being pelted with snowballs by the Seattle crowd, when Shaun Ellis decided to return the favor. Two years later, a fan has decided to sue....

Weekend Winner: Philly, Now Better Than New York At Everything, Including Dog-Pun Headlines
This is today's New York Post cover. For the sake of comparison, this was the Philly Daily News's cover back in September. Yeah, the Post should've just punted that shit out of bounds....

Yankees Fan Of The Year Michael LaPayower Gets Paid
Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower will have you know that the videos you giggled at won him a $2,500 shopping spree at the Steiner Sports 1977-78 Yankees Show silent auction....

Charley Casserly Seems To Think The Jets Tried To Alosi The Bengals, Too
Here's video of "NFL Today GM" Charlie Casserly discussing Tripgate on today's pregame show, complete with Zapruder video from Week 12 against Cincinnati, brought to you by Domino's Pizza. ...

Late Addition To The Weekend's NFL Schedule
Venezuelan tipster Wael S. sent this photo in this morning. It leads to an intriguing question....

Did New York Giant Jonathan Goff Break Curfew Last Night? (Updated W/ Curfew Rule Assertion)
To hear tipster "The Michael Vick Project" tell it, these here photos are of Jonathan Goff of the New York Giants breaking team rules at McSwiggans Pub in Hoboken, NJ....

John Salley Story Corner: Jacking It Won't Help Your Prostate
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: a therapeutic digression on the benefits of intercourse....

Area Man Has One Night Stand With Hockey Team From Phoenix In Town On Business
Former collegiate goaltender Tom Fenton (2008-2009 record: 1-12-1, 3.60 GAA) was plucked from a barber's chair yesterday and whisked to Madison Square Garden to play emergency backup for the Coyotes. "Kinda thought my friends were pulling a prank," he said....

Mets Punch Their Fans In The Dick With Awful Season Ticket Pitch
Couched as fake SNY breaking news about a big acquisition, complete with press conference, you might be disappointed to learn that the Flushing front office's big target is...you....

Video Proof That Traveling Doesn't Exist Anymore
Where, you might ask, do our nation's NBA players get the idea that two steps is just a suggested limit? It starts early. PIVOT FOOT, YOU LITTLE CHEATER, NOT PIVOT FEET....

A Former NFLer Goes Behind The Sideline Wall
Yesterday, Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi was suspended indefinitely for ordering a sideline wall and tripping up Miami's Nolan Carroll. We asked ex-NFL player and occasional Deadspin contributor Nate Jackson for his thoughts....

This Photo Is A Little Less Great
It's got, well, the two O'Neals dressed in business casual and Kevin Garnett grabbing his nuts. [Boston Globe; earlier]...