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Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 2
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. This week: "shit" and "ass" end up deadlocked, while "nuts" drop left and right....

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Panionios Fans Destroy Their Own Stadium To Stop Rivals AEK Athens Playing In It
Dundee United's Europa League clash with AEK Athens tomorrow night has been thrown into chaos after rival fans from Greek side Panionios G.S.S. smashed up their own stadium to prevent the game being held there....

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

Spider-Man 2: Yet Another Japanese Outfielder Makes Incredible Catch
Mere weeks after introducing the world to the original Spider-Man's home run saving grab, it happens again. Same ballpark, same teams, same pitcher on the mound....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

LeGarette Blount's Punching Problem
First there was this one. Then there was this one. Now, College Football Talk reveals another time Blount's temper was channeled through his fists. There's a good chance Blount's first career rushing stat in the NFL will be for -15 yards. [PFT/CFT]...

Remind Us Never To Question Married People And The Weird Things They Do
"Jessica," subject of last night's half-assed marriage proposal, popped in to the comments to let us know the deal. Oh, you crazy kids....

Last Night's Winner: Antonio Cromartie's Seed
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Antonio Cromartie's many many children, who each got a mention on last night's Hard Knocks, even if he had to use his fingers and toes to count them....

How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 1
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 1: "Fuck" narrowly edges "shit."...

Rick Reilly® Writes Column A Lot Like Other Rick Reilly® Column
When he isn't squirting various hypothetical juices in various hypothetical eyes, Rick Reilly® is usually recycling his own material. Yesterday's column finds him complaining about golf's picayune rules. Again....

Is Joey Barton’s Mustache An Homage To A Hooligan Movie?
Of course, the answer to the headline question is no, it probably isn't. It could equally be an homage to Freddie Mercury, or the one with the mustache out of Hall and Oates [Ed. It's Oates]....

Stories That Don't Suck: The Shot Heard 'Round The World And The Greatest Lede Ever Written
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: a fitting memorial for Bobby Thomson....

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....

Green Man Finally Wears Appropriate Color, Though Not Size
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....

K-Rod Injured Himself Throwing That Punch, Out For Season
Rodriguez tore a ligament in his right thumb, meaning his father-in-law's face actually won the fight. It's about that time of the season for another memorable New York Post cover? [Will Carroll]...

Foul Ball Couple Update: Bo "The Bailer" Threatens To Leak Intimate Photos Of Ex He Failed To Protect
All is not well with our favorite foul ball dodging star-cross'd lovers, Bo and Sara. We've got allegations of infidelity, and the threat of dropping nude photos. Join us, on As The Bo Turns....

Yankees Toss Limbless Boy In Water, Or Something
The Yankees kicked off their annual "HOPE Week" by treating 13-year-old Jorge Grajales to a pool party. Jorge is a quadruple amputee. Whatever, he still throws better than Knoblauch. [Journal News]...