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The Natural Disaster Telestrator Dong: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Tell Me How My Class Tastes: Scenes From The Worst NFL Draft Party Ever
This is, on the surface, the tale of the lamest NFL Draft party of all time. But it's also a story about class and about fans who project their own anxieties on their favorite teams and about teams that respond in kind....

Welcome To Bizarro Continent, Where Canada Owns Our Asses At Sports Management
While Glendale and Gary Bettman flounder about, there's already a deal in place to move the Coyotes to Winnipeg. Meanwhile Montreal has been tapped to join MLS, and, oh look, they've already got a team. Shit, America, get it together....

Not-So-Great Memorabilia For A Great Cause
Vince Young is partnering to help raise money for Tennessee flood victims: donate $100, and receive an autographed photo. But don't worry, we checked; donate $150, and they won't send the photo. [Vincent Young Foundation]...

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jets Fans Are Rational People And The Team In No Way Has Unrealistic Expectations
Jets fans predict 15-1 season. Rex Ryan asks, "who'd we lose to?" I think Hard Knocks should move from HBO to late-night Cinemax, because I'm getting hard just thinking about it. [ESPN]...

Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....

9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...

Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....

Today In Wacky Reportage: How To Slightly Annoy Hockey Players
Whenever the Blackhawks score a goal at home, the Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" blares over the loudspeakers. A plucky reporter played it to several Canucks in an attempt either to psych them out or to recreate a moment from a terrible ABC sitcom. ...

Last Night's Winner: Les Habitants (Of Their Mothers' Basements)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Poindexters and figure filberts who knew all along that the roundly dismissed Canadiens were dangerous....

Blackhawk Duncan Keith Doesn't Appreciate You Prying Into His Finances
This video, taken during Game 4 of the Chicago-Nashville series, shows a Predators fan/heckler getting under the skin of defenseman Duncan Keith. Keith's Norris Trophy-nominated response? A refreshing Gatorade spritz. Points for accuracy immediately deducted for being a ninny. [ChicagoNow]...

What It's Like To Eat Dinner With Bill Murray
So, either your letters have been answered or you're Wes Anderson: How do you navigate the minefield of social norms and potential faux pas and handle dinner with Bill Murray? New York Magazine's Jada Yuan lays it all out....

Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Bango The Buck's Encore: Battery And Harassment
Bango — drunk with power after surviving last night's dunk — is now harassing Wisconsin's small coterie of Atlanta Hawks fans. Enjoy the dulcet tones of P.O.D. and — I hope — the use of a single Al Horford jersey. H/T Jon....

Last Night's Winner: People Who Question Dwight Howard's Manhood
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks who mistake human beings for sled dogs and accuse Dwight Howard of not being alpha enough....

Bango The Mascot Ascends Ladder As Deer, Descends As Deer-Man
Bango, the Bucks' mascot, is one of the best performers in the mascot ranks. Last night he proved it. During the biggest game of the year, Bango flipped off a ladder, dunked, and somehow managed not to die. [Vegas Plays]...

Alleged Racism, Confirmed Mustache At Angel Stadium
You'd think the Angels, actively marketed to Latino fans, would be the last team to have their ushers insulting a Hispanic fan for not speaking English, and giving him the finger. Wait, he was a Yankee fan? Carry on, then....

Big Ben Is An Artist At Heart
Like all of us, it appears Ben Roethlisberger is another failed artist. Reader Deb gives us the scoop....