yo Page 667 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alright, This Evgeni Plushenko Video Is Kind Of Outstanding
Especially if you like Metallica and silver dragons and lightning and fucking fire. Enjoy this 45 seconds of battle-axing brilliance. (Thanks to reader Tony, for the tip.)...

Will Leitch, Insufferable Dickweed? A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

David Geffen Knows This Song Is About Him (UPDATE)
Carly Simon has apparently revealed the subject of "You're So Vain," and it's David Freaking Geffen, who is gay. (Um, "wife of a close friend"?) Better him than Cat Stevens, I guess. (UPDATE: Or not!) [The Sun, via UkraineNotWeak]...

You're With Me, Meme
Flip to page 195 of this month's GQ. You'll find a spread in which everyone's favorite Bermanism appears atop Topher Grace's crotch. And thus "You're With Me, Leather" becomes one of many viral sensations to spread to smarmy Hollywood wang....

World's Worst Tennis Pro Still Suing British Newspapers For Declaring Him The World's Worst Tennis Pro
Robert Dee, the world's worst tennis pro, has wrung tens of thousands of pounds in damages out of media organizations that suggested he's the world's worst tennis pro, even though, yeah, he probably is the world's worst tennis pro. [Guardian]...

Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....

Dilemma: Why Can't Ski Jumping Be More Dangerous?
In the era of murderous luge runs and five-story mogul jumps, putting waxed floorboards on your feet and throwing yourself off a mountain just isn't what it used to be. Where have you gone, Vinko Bogataj? [NY Times/Pat's Papers]...

Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....

T.O., Fierce and Fabulous: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Old Man Gives Young Whippersnapper What For (UPDATE)
Word to the wise: When a (possibly racist) 67-year-old man wearing an "I AM a motherfucker" t-shirt gives you guff on an Oakland bus, just let it go. Or go home and get your shine box....

Happy Valentine's Day, You Poor Bastard (Veracity Update)
To some people, proposing on the big screen at a hockey game is the most romantic idea imaginable. Not to the woman who stormed out after being popped the question at the Rangers game today....

In Wayne Gretzky's Nightmares, He Still Waits For The Goddamn Robot Cauldron To Goddamn Open
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 6 & 7: In Which Joe Lunardi Has A Scarlett Johansson Fantasy
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 16-8. Tournament prospects: NIT prospects? Great!...

Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Cameron Diaz Has Unenviable Task Of Bringing Yankees 28th World Series
According to Ok! magazine, Cameron Diaz has hopped on the Blue-Lipped Express that is Alex Rodriguez. The two were seen dancing and being flirty with each other over the weekend. So that means they're totally doing it. [OK!]...

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....

Randy Winn The Final Straw For Aggrieved Yankee Fan
The signing of Randy Winn instead of Johnny Damon has convinced one season ticket holder not to renew. I agree. A lineup of only eight 8-figure salaried all-stars just doesn't show enough of a commitment to winning....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....