yo Page 694 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The New Yankee Stadium: Where Apt Metaphors Are In Abundance
The fancy-pants stadium seats aren't selling. Fans are pissed . The A-Rod mess. 0-5 against the Sox. And now, fans are doing flying kicks. This is the 2009 Yankees season so far....

Bow Down Before Your New Mayor, Detroiters
Piston legend Dave Bing has been elected to serve the remainder of Kwame "Sex Text" Kilpatrick's term as Lord of The D. I hear he plans to move the city to Ontario. [Detroit News; photo]...

Phoenix Coyotes Go Bankrupt, Forget To Tell NHL
Remember when the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix and everyone said, "Real smart! Putting a hockey team in the desert!" Yeah, they're probably on the way back to Canada with their tail between their legs....

Alex and Sid's Dueling Hat Tricks
The NHL got what it wanted—a Crosby/Ovechkin playoff showdown—and the first two games have lived up to the billing. If only they can find a way to make it last longer than two more games....

Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...

Malcolm Gladwell Wants To Know Why Your Team Doesn't Press More
There's a very lengthy article in The New Yorker this week, from uber-contrarian Malcolm Gladwell arguing that basketball teams should press more often, because it helps weak teams upset strong ones. (Except when it doesn't.)...

And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...

Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....

Not All Seven Game Series Are Equal
There were two seven-game series in the first round of the the NBA Playoffs. One was the greatest series in the history of sport. The other was not....

There's Nothing Like The A.J. Burnett Theater Experience
Athletes like to be comfortable when they watch "300" or "Gladiator" for the 10,000th time. Burnett's absurdly extravagant home theater was selected as one of the best, according to Electronic House magazine. [EH]...

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

Ron Artest Fondly Remembers That Terrible, Hilarious Night At The Palace
Ron Artest had a nice moment last night when he went into the stands after a loose ball. It was just like the last time he went into the crowd, only not as hysterically funny....

Samuel Dalembert Loves, Loses
The Sixers were getting pounded by a Dwight Howard-less Magic team last night when Samuel Dalembert decided that an out-of-reach game would be a good time to get more intimate with Hedo Turkoglu....

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

Yankees Reduce Prices From "Highway Robbery" To "Alleyway Mugging"
Have you heard about this NEW Yankee Stadium? It's just like the old one—only 14 times more expensive. So how do you sell $2,500-a-game tickets? Charge the bargain-basement price of $1,250!...

New Jersey Would Probably Like That Last Minute Back
It's one thing to give up the game-tying goal in the last 1:20 of a Game 7, but to give up a game-tying and game-winning goal in the last 1:20—that's probably going to haunt you....

When All Else Fails, Just Punch Brad Miller In The Face
The Boston-Chicago series had its third overtime game last night and they might still be playing now if Rajon Rando hadn't decided to just end the charade and slug Brad Miller in the mouth....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...