yo Page 696 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's Nothing Like The A.J. Burnett Theater Experience
Athletes like to be comfortable when they watch "300" or "Gladiator" for the 10,000th time. Burnett's absurdly extravagant home theater was selected as one of the best, according to Electronic House magazine. [EH]...

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

Noah Declared 'Undead', Cleared to Play Tonight
The best first round series anyone can remember concludes tonight as Chicago travels to Boston for Game 7. Contrary to some earlier speculation, "Garquatch" will not be suiting up....

Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....

Ron Artest Fondly Remembers That Terrible, Hilarious Night At The Palace
Ron Artest had a nice moment last night when he went into the stands after a loose ball. It was just like the last time he went into the crowd, only not as hysterically funny....

Samuel Dalembert Loves, Loses
The Sixers were getting pounded by a Dwight Howard-less Magic team last night when Samuel Dalembert decided that an out-of-reach game would be a good time to get more intimate with Hedo Turkoglu....

Boston And Chicago Must Really Love Each Other
How else do you explain why the Bulls and Celtics have played seven overtime periods in just six games? These guys really just enjoy playing basketball together—and making each other bleed....

Yankees Reduce Prices From "Highway Robbery" To "Alleyway Mugging"
Have you heard about this NEW Yankee Stadium? It's just like the old one—only 14 times more expensive. So how do you sell $2,500-a-game tickets? Charge the bargain-basement price of $1,250!...

New Jersey Would Probably Like That Last Minute Back
It's one thing to give up the game-tying goal in the last 1:20 of a Game 7, but to give up a game-tying and game-winning goal in the last 1:20—that's probably going to haunt you....

When All Else Fails, Just Punch Brad Miller In The Face
The Boston-Chicago series had its third overtime game last night and they might still be playing now if Rajon Rando hadn't decided to just end the charade and slug Brad Miller in the mouth....

The University Of Oregon's Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows What It Means To Be ULTIMATE, Man
Suspended for off-field antics, the team got all "Footloose" at a school board meeting: "Speeding, drinking, nudity - they're not bad things. They're things a big portion of the community doesn't think are wrong." [SeattleTimes]...

You People Are Not Helping Molly Oberstar Defeat Her Overconfidence Problem
Remember this girl? Molly Oberstar? No? Me neither. But! It appears her "Exotic, European look" was enough to overcompensate for her self-absorption to win St. Paul Magazine's Real Model contest. [RandBall]...

So Much For That San Jose Dynasty
After dominating the first part of this season and then holding off Detroit to snag the best record in the league, the Sharks really thought that this was their year. Yeah, not exactly....

I'm Kobe Bryant, And I'm Taking Over This Motion Picture
Spike Lee is denying the whole thing, but the New York Post is telling the tale of how Kobe Bryant supposedly hijacked Lee's documentary of him to present himself in the best possible light....

Donald Brashear Suspended Six Games For Breaking Faces
Six! One for pushing Colton Orr and five for a late hit on Blair Betts—so he'll miss Tuesday's Game 7 and most (maybe all?) of the next series if they win....

A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...

More Game Fours Than You Can Shake A Fork At
It's a Game 4 quadruple header today in the NBA Playoffs today. What will we learn?! Besides how many nachos can be consumed in an 11-hour period. Open thread your hearts out, hoop heads. [NBA]...

Rangers Coach Suspended For Fighting Fans
It looks like Sean Avery's hot-headed, loose cannon ways are rubbing off on his head coach John Tortorella, who got himself suspended for today's crucial Game 6 (on national TV!) against the Capitals....

T-R-D-E! Trade! Trade! Trade!
The Browns were all "hey, let's pick someone" and the Jets were all "um, no, how bout we draft?" and the Browns were all "whoa" and the Jets were all "yay, Sanchez!"...

How To Entertain Yourself Today If You Don't Have A Bigass Touchscreen
Well, hell, CNN gave John King one for the 2008 election. Why doesn't Michael Smith get one for the NFL Draft?...