yo Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bulls Game-Plan For One-Legged Garnett
"I'm not buying that," Bulls forward John Salmons said. "I'll believe that when I see it." [SI/ChicagoTribune]...

Aaron Curry Will Destroy Your Image Of The Pampered, Self-Centered Athlete
Wake Forest linebacker Aaron Curry decided to begin his NFL career with a heaping dose of good karma, inviting a 12-year-old leukemia survivor to the draft festivities with him in New York....

Oy! Jets Schedule Conflicts With High Holidays
All that kvetching and gnashing of teeth you hear is because Jewish New York Jets fans may have to miss a quarter of their team's home games due to an NFL scheduling mixup....

Celtics Will Most Likely Be Garnett-less During Playoffs, Coach Says
Doc Rivers has Beantown in a panic after he hinted that Kevin Garnett's mangled knee will most likely keep him out of the playoffs. "I'm not optimistic," Rivers told WEEI....

Billy Gillispie Is Just A Weirdo
Last January, Nike made t-shirts for the Wildcats commemorating Jodie Meeks' 54- point performance against UT. For some reason, Billy Gillispie hid them in his office. The team just received the shirts yesterday. [Kentucky Sports.com]...

Oh, Poor Lord Stanley Would Not Approve Of This
Puckheads around the world are all geeked out for the start of the NHL playoffs. And 850TheBuzz chose this interesting approach to fire up Carolina Hurricanes fans. You know, with implied coprophagia. Hockey!...

A.J. Burnett Is The Most Dominating Pitcher In Baseball Right Now
The fears about his elbow disintegrating into a pile of bony ash midway through the season are set aside for now. Burnett flirted with a no-no, flummoxed the Rays, wins 7-2. [NYT]...

The Queen Of Queens
America's Sideline Princess became America's Baseline Princess, spending most of last night's Citi Field opener giving fans an extensive tour of the new ballpark, while slack-jawed yokels stood idly by and tried not to drool....

Nick Swisher To The Rescue
The Yankees off-season pitching additions are starting to pay-off. Swisher's line yesterday: 1.0IP 1H 0R 1K. Unfortunately they lost to the DRays 15-5. [3:10 To Joba]...

Usain Bolt Talks About Rollin' With His Homies
"In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too — but I was real young then." [SI/AP]...

Your NHL Playoffs Are Ready
The matchups and schedule are set for the first round of the NHL playoffs. I hope your Versus subscription is up to date! [Puck Daddy]...

Vin Scully's A Gift To Baseball, Humanity
The Emeritus transcribed this brilliant play-by-play from Scully's broadcast on Thursday, talking about the sudden death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. [The Will Leitch Experience]...

NBA, NHL Out Of Playoff Spots
This weekend could have been a furious playoff dash to cap off both the pro basketball and hockey seasons, but all the playoffs spots were wrapped up last night, so never mind all that....

CC Sabathia's New House Is A Modest Fixer-Upper
This is what kind of a house $14,900,000 will get you in Alpine, NJ. And unlike Yankee Stadium, it's privately funded....

Kevin Youkilis' Facial Hair Has A Lot On Its Mind, By Cracky
The beard of Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis has started a website and Twitter feed. This is definitely the best website devoted to an athlete's beard since Alicia Rickter's fansite went under. [BeardOfTruth]...

Programming Notes
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Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

Here's Your 'Man Streaks Little League Game' Story For Today
Port St. Lucie (Fla.) police are looking for a man who sped naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game on Thursday. Yeah, might as well set your sights high, dude....