yo Page 699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Queen Of Queens
America's Sideline Princess became America's Baseline Princess, spending most of last night's Citi Field opener giving fans an extensive tour of the new ballpark, while slack-jawed yokels stood idly by and tried not to drool....

Nick Swisher To The Rescue
The Yankees off-season pitching additions are starting to pay-off. Swisher's line yesterday: 1.0IP 1H 0R 1K. Unfortunately they lost to the DRays 15-5. [3:10 To Joba]...

Usain Bolt Talks About Rollin' With His Homies
"In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too — but I was real young then." [SI/AP]...

Your NHL Playoffs Are Ready
The matchups and schedule are set for the first round of the NHL playoffs. I hope your Versus subscription is up to date! [Puck Daddy]...

Vin Scully's A Gift To Baseball, Humanity
The Emeritus transcribed this brilliant play-by-play from Scully's broadcast on Thursday, talking about the sudden death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. [The Will Leitch Experience]...

NBA, NHL Out Of Playoff Spots
This weekend could have been a furious playoff dash to cap off both the pro basketball and hockey seasons, but all the playoffs spots were wrapped up last night, so never mind all that....

CC Sabathia's New House Is A Modest Fixer-Upper
This is what kind of a house $14,900,000 will get you in Alpine, NJ. And unlike Yankee Stadium, it's privately funded....

Kevin Youkilis' Facial Hair Has A Lot On Its Mind, By Cracky
The beard of Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis has started a website and Twitter feed. This is definitely the best website devoted to an athlete's beard since Alicia Rickter's fansite went under. [BeardOfTruth]...

Programming Notes
Send along today's tips to both [email protected] and [email protected]....

Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

Here's Your 'Man Streaks Little League Game' Story For Today
Port St. Lucie (Fla.) police are looking for a man who sped naked across the outfield at a youth baseball game on Thursday. Yeah, might as well set your sights high, dude....

Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....

Mike Florio Demands More Spanking In The NFL
It's Week 4 of the Deadcast, and we continue our extremely slow progress into something barely resembling a polished, professional broadcast. Helping the cause this week is our guest....

Lee Corso. Barry Melrose. Dick Vitale
Who are three people I would not want to see have a Lemon Party? Or, according to Esquire.com, three "men you should emulate." [Esquire.com]...

Dogs And Cats Have Officially Slept Together...Reilly On The B.S. Report
And they said this day would never come. Whatever feud may or may not have (allegedly) existed between Rick Reilly and the Sports Fella, it appears that rivalry has now been extinguished....

Drunken Joba Chamberlain And His 1920s-Era Football Shirt Now On Video
Compared to Sabathia's performance yesterday, this effort wasn't so bad. But the newly-released Joba Chamberlain DUI arrest video still cannot be good news for the 0-1 Yankees....

Yankees All Of A Sudden Don't Like Fan Interference
It's hard to imagine an opening day that could have gone better for the Orioles, and that doesn't just include the torrent of abuse they let loose on "Treasonous Tex."...

Your Team's Season Is Already Over
The Yankees offseason maneuvers are a complete and total disaster. They might as well have taken $340 million and dumped it in the Harlem River for all the good it did them. What a disgrace....

Johan Santana Has A Very Good Memory
Sorry to get all "Meet the Mets" on you today, but I noticed something bizarre during today's pregame that must be discussed—Johan Santana apparently has an individual handshake ritual for every player on his team....

So Here's A Story About How Ashley Judd Almost Got Kentucky In Trouble With The NCAA
Ashley Judd could be one of the more annoying of the celebrity super-fans. It is adorable when famous people are so vocal about their teams, but screamin' Ashley just tends to overdo it a bit....