Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!

Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead with a two-run homer by Nick "Yes, SexyBack is still my batting music" Johnson. The Nats' bullpen does what it do: issuing a bases loaded walk to tie the game at 3 in the 8th. Wil Nieves, using that extra energy he has from not having to carry around that second "L" in his name, ended it in the bottom of the 9th with a two-run walkoff.

Of course, none of that may match Reed Johnson's painful looking snag in center.

Red Sox lose! Yankees lose! Rest of the world wins! The Sawx had chances to win in the 9th, 10th and 11th, before Nathan Haynes drove to Carl Crawford to lift the Rays to a 5-4 win in the bottom of the frame. Giving up the winning run? The reliably terrible Mike Timlin, he of the 13.50 ERA. Meanwhile, in a non-bug infested (well, less bug infested) Cleveland, back-to-back homers by Jhonny Peralta and Franklin Gutierrez in the 5th powered the Tribe past the Yankees for a 6-4 win.

Grasping at 'stros. The Houston bats awaken in time to rally in 9th off Jason Isringhausen, finished off by a Carlos Lee homer, to give them a 3-2 victory over the home Cardinals. The six-game winning streak puts Houston at .500, which may be slightly higher if you check their birth certificates.