Tennis Page 101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Is Wrong With Our Angry Tennis Players?
Federer, bitching to the umpire about a late challenge by eventual winner Juan Martin del Potro: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? … I don't give a shit what he said, OK?" Such grace! [YouTube, AP]...

Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....

Melanie Oudin Apparently Sleeping On The Streets Of NY Tonight
America's sweetheart, at least until she loses, was ousted from the Times Square Marriott because her reservation was up. Maybe you shouldn't have made such a charmingly deep run in the bracket, Melanie! [SportsBusiness Daily]...

U.S. Open Tells Players To Get Off Twitter
Tournament officials warn players not to broadcast "inside information" via Twitter. (Apparently, people gamble on tennis.) Naturally, playerscomplain about it via Twitter. Also, women don't know how to serve or something. Who cares? As long as they keep grunting! [SMH/Switched/NYT]...

It Must Be Lust: Deadspin's 2009 U.S. Open Preview
Greetings, Deadspin tennis fans! It's that time of year again!...

Spend The Night In Roger Federer's Bed
Roger Federer has his own personalized $3,000-a-night suite at the Carlyle Hotel—with monogrammed pillows!—just for the two weeks a year he spends ruling the U.S. Open. Unfortunately, Rafael Nadal has the only key. [Observer]...

Tennismania, Anyone?
In individual tennis, arguments are tag-team affairs, at best. The danger of team tennis, though, rests in the possibility of a brawl. Or at least some prissy and passionate (but polite!) name-calling. Especially with John McEnroe involved. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Lamest Excuse Ever Helps Tennis Player Beat Drug Rap
French tennis player Richard Gasquet told officials that the reason he tested positive for cocaine last March was because he kissed a woman who had cocaine on her lips....and that worked! Suspension over! It's strip club time! [BBC]...

USA Eliminated By Croatia In Davis Cup Quarters
This is utterly shocking news to those who had no idea the Davis Cup was even going on right now. [UPI]...

Actually, All Tennis Looks Like This On A Sunday Morning
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Tennis Stalking: Now With 100% Less Stabbing
Two days before the Indian tennis star's (arranged) engagement, two separate "lovelorn youth" were arrested for trying to profess their love to Sania Mirza at her Hyderabad home. [Times Of India]...

Ochocinco's Forebearer Is... Justin Gimelstob?
Chad Ochocinco — né Johnson, he of no further introduction — and Justin Gimelstob, he of middling tennis stature, have more in common than what hits the eye. Actually, they really don't. But they both... like Twitter?...

Anna Kournikova: Still Not A Jew
When Anna Kournikova came to Washington rocking a diamond as big as the Ritz, a freelance photographer congratulated her with a "Mazel Tov!" Kournikova's response: "I am not Jewish. Can't you see my cross?" Oy vey. [Washington Times]...

Shady Tennis Player Dies Shady Death
Mathieu Montcourt's five-week suspension for betting on tennis matches began on Monday—the same day he was found dead in a stairwell under totally non-suspicious circumstances. (Police don't suspect foul play, believe it or not.) He was 24. [AFP]...

British Press Finds Its Tragic Hero In An American
In London, sports are sport, Americans are ungracious blokes and Andy Roddick is brave, tenacious, athletic and bloody valorous. So like Hamlet, Othello and Romeo before him, Roddick naturally became the tragic hero in the British writer's five-act narrative arc....

At Wimbledon, All The Living Cars Fall Faintly On The Dead
"We were told: 'Go and reverse between these gravestones.' I thought: 'This is very odd'. But we did it and went to Wimbledon." The £20 for parking in a cemetery is split between three charities. How wonderfully macabre. [Ananova]...

It Appears Buxom Tennis Player Has Officially De-Racked Herself
SBB claims this is a picture of Simona Halep soon after her breast reduction surgery. Romania's long national nightmare is now over. [SBB]...

I Guess He Watched The Soccer Game Too
I'm certain there's a backstory here. I'm not certain I want to hear it. [The Rookies]...

When Tennis Players Ride The Crimson Tide
Lost in yesterday's huge win for American teenage Melanie Oudin was the loser, former world number one Jelena Jankovic. Turns out she was suffering from a malady you don't normally see on injury reports....

No One Said The Brits Weren't Picky
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...