The Ballad Of Manny And Lefty

Well, it was bound to happen ... a columnist has mentioned "Boston Red Sox" and "Phil Mickelson" in the same sentence. Send all brickbats, white-powdered missives and death curses to Michael Ventre, who went ahead and declared the Red Sox "The Phil Mickelson of baseball." Wow.

He goes on: "Lefty had once held the title of Best Golfer Never to Have Won a Major. Then in 2004, he won a major, the Masters. Since then, he collapsed in the 2006 U.S. Open at Winged Foot. This year, he faltered badly in the Scottish Open, a warm-up tournament for the British Open, then missed the cut at Carnoustie. If you stare at Mickelson long enough, you can see Mike Torrez. If you look even harder, you can see Bill Buckner." Oh my! Curious timing, too, seeing that Boston's 13-9 win over Cleveland moved the Red Sox back to 7 1/2 games ahead of the second-place Yankees in the East. Manny Ramirez hit the third-longest home run ever at Jacobs Field, a tree-clearing solo shot into a monument area estimated at 481 feet, and also had a two-run homer for Boston, which took three of the four games against the Drew Careys.

• Penny Loafer. It's just an abdominal cramp, girls! Brad Penny WILL be at the dance tonight! WILL BE at the dance! Penny looked like he may have hurt himself while running out an infield single in the seventh, but it turned out to be nothing, really. The Dodgers' ace got his 13th win, a 5-4 decision over the Rockies.

• But I've Got Hand! Not so fortunate was Chase Utley, who broke certain small bones during the Phillies' 7-6 loss to the Nationals. Utley broke his right hand when John Lannan hit him with a pitch in the fifth inning. Utley finished the game, going 2-for-4.

• Bonds Watch. Our hero was 1-for-4 (bloop double), during the Giants' 4-2 win over the Braves. Dave Roberts had a two-run double in the fifth, and Ray Durham's single was the go-ahead run in the same inning. Plus, Bob Costas stikes back!

• Swish! Nick Swisher, baby! His two homers powered the Athletics over the Mariners 6-2.