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The Broncos apparently have a fart problem, because the team took action and instituted a system in meetings: If you fart, you pay a fine. Linebacker Von Miller admitted he pays the fart tax a lot.


There needs to be a payment limit on these players, who eat absurd amounts of food a day to maintain their bodies. Instead of fart taxes, the system would work better with fart deductibles: After a certain number of farts, a player wouldn’t need to pay for their farts anymore. Von Miller can’t control them, dammit.


Photo: Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

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