The Daily Closer: Grumpier Old Men

Notes on a day in baseball:

• Johnson, Wells Matchup Showcases Pitchers Who Once Wore Onions On Belt, Because That Was The Style. Like cactus, old saddles and doomed Presidential aspirants, Randy Johnson just seems to be a part of Arizona, and we are very happy to see him back. Having completed a minor league rehab stint, Big Unit took the mound on Tuesday against the Padres and gave up six runs and six hits over five innings, his first start for the Diamondbacks since 2004. He threw 53 of 97 pitches for strikes. Opposing him was fellow 43-year-old David Wells, who combined with Johnson to form the oldest matchup of lefthanded pitchers in major league history. San Diego won 10-5. "It was just a matter of who gave up the least amount of runs," said Wells with owl-like wisdom. He gave up five in five innings. Arizona (10-11) lost its fifth straight. Wells — who was born before the JFK assassination (seriously) — and Johnson combine for 87 years, 300 days, which bests the previous mark for oldest duo of lefty starting pitchers, set April 12 when 44-year-old Jamie Moyer of Philadelphia opposed 41-year-old Tom Glavine of the New York Mets. Khalil Greene, who was nine years old when Johnson entered the majors with the Expos in 1988, had four hits and four RBI for the Padres.

• Your Daily A-Rod Report. Alex Rodriguez finally proposed to New York on Tuesday, with the city saying "Um, we have to think about it." His timing was perfect as always, as his 23-game hitting streak ended and the Yankees fell into last place in the East with a 6-4 loss to the Devil Rays. Carl Crawford had a grand slam off of reliever Mike Myers, the whole affair spoiling the return of NY starter Chien-Ming Wang.

• Sounds Like An SNL Sketch To Us. OK, "sitting out" four games is a poor choice of words when describing what Ken Griffey Jr. has been doing lately. Griffey had diverticulitis, the symptoms of which we will not detail here, except to say that they include the words "bulging infected bowel pouches." Goodnight, folks! Oh, Griffey's 564th career homer — pushing him past Reggie Jackson into 10th on the all-time list — led the Reds over the Cardinals 10-3.

• Halladay For Swings. All hail Vernon Wells (4-for-5, three RBI), Roy Halladay (10 strikeouts in eight innings) and the Blue Jays, who beat the Red Sox 10-3 for a two-game series sweep. Hallady is 3-0.

• Childhood's End(y). New York Mets still in first (barely) ahead of the Braves after 12-inning, 2-1 win over Rockies. What could be more perfect than an Endy Chavez bunt single to win it? We submit that nothing could.