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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

The Dolphins Are Stale Piss From The Gutter

The Dolphins, a team set up to execute one of the most brazen tanking campaigns in NFL history, were so bad in Week 1 that a handful of players were reportedly calling their agents after the game and begging to be traded. Somehow, Miami was even worse today against the Patriots.


The Patriots never looked like they were all that interested in giving more than 75-percent effort today, and yet they still managed to win the game 43-0. The game was even relatively close at the end of the first half, when the Patriots were only up 13-0, but in the second half the Dolphins showed how hard it is not to score at least 30 points against them.

The Dolphins finished with 184 total yards, turned the ball over four times, and converted just two of their 15 third downs. If quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick is meant to provide some steady professionalism to this team of losers and outcasts, he didn’t show it today. Before getting benched in favor of Josh Rosen in the second half, Fitzpatrick completed 11 of his 21 passes for 83 yards and threw three picks.


Two of those interceptions were run back for touchdowns, and in both cases it looked like the Dolphins were trying to give away touchdowns that the Pats didn’t even want:

It’s hard to believe that the Dolphins could get any worse than this, but they almost certainly can. This is the part of the season when teams, even those as badly constructed as this one, are still supposed to be playing with some enthusiasm and belief. What’s going to happen to the players after they have to spend another six or seven weeks knowing that their front office is essentially treating them as a human sacrifice every Sunday? What’s going to happen when a handful of starters are eventually injured, and the quality of play gets even worse?


This team might lose a game 70-0 this season.

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