The Horrible Revenge Of Dr. Gopher

Well, this is pretty much every nightmare I had from ages 15 to 23 ... make of that what you will. But further one might ask, how does a giant, costumed rodent chasing students on a college campus with a syringe not make it on Nightline, or at least the local evening news? It's when the assailant is Goldy Gopher, and the occasion is a Guinness Book of World Records attempt for the most flu shots administered in one day. The record is 3,271, by the way. God have mercy on the state of Minnesota tomorrow. The shocking video is after the jump.

And the final irony comes when, thousands of years from today, an alien craft lands on Earth and finds only the burnt-out, hollow husks of our civilization; the people long since gone extinct. Curious to find the reason for our demise, the first thing they find is this video, and they watch in horror as Goldy Gopher careens wildly on a manic killing spree, injecting humans with God-knows-what. No one escapes the madness. The visitors have seen evidence of the end of many civilizations, but nothing like this. Nothing like this. Goldy Gopher Would Like To Give You An Injection [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]