Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies.
• The Butler University Bulldogs, and the chap of a fan pictured, haven't appeared in the NCAA men's college basketball national championship game since 2010 [Indianapolis Star]. Connecticut was last there in 2004 [Hartford Courant]. They'll both return Monday night. [CBS Sports]
• Fresh off his photographically fantastic meeting with First Lady Michelle Obama, Alexander Ovechkin led the Washington Capitals to an overtime win over Buffalo, which returned them to the top the Eastern Conference. They lead the Flyers by a point. Philly has four games left, Washington three. [Washington Post]
• Sue Cooney, a 64-year-old woman hit in the face by Torii Hunter's sawed-off maple bat at the Royals Opening Day game against the Angels, needs surgery. Her "significant other" Mike Sterrett said help was painfully slow to arrive; officials retorted that paramedics were trying to find the safest way to get her from her seat to an ambulance. [Kansas City Star]
• The Toledo Rockets defeated the USC Trojans to win the women's NIT last night [Toledo Free Press]. Here's why tipster Michele B. says it was of note:
The MVP of the WNIT was an Israeli Orthodox Jew (Naama Shafir), and on the Shabbos no less. She had to walk to the game and she couldn't sign autographs or talk to reporters until sundown. She couldn't even cut the net. Someone else operated the scissors and she moved her fingers in a scissor motion. She rocks. (Shafir put the fear of Yahweh in USC!)
She's also considerably more interesting than Geno Auriemma, Michele.
• India defeated Sri Lanka to claim the 2011 Cricket World Cup. Psst, hey Poonam Pandey, we're waiting. [BBC Sport] Previously: India, Pakistan, And The Hopeful Futility Of Cricket Diplomacy
• Even more interesting that the fact that Baltimore Orioles pitcher Charles Tillman threw six hitless, shutout innings in yesterday's win over the Rays is the fact that the Baltimore Orioles have a pitcher capable of completing a single inning. [Baltimore Sun]
• Phil Mickelson shot his lowest round in two years and tied a course record at Redstone in Houston yesterday. That's awesome for Phil Mickelson and clearly the biggest sports story in that town. [Houston Chronicle]
• In response to yesterday's post regarding Wrigley Field obesity, reader Jason G. recounted a similar sight during a visit last summer. "I couldn't believe that he wedged himself into the small seat and those around him didn't seem to be enjoying themselves," he recalls of the fan who may or may not have just gotten two days of Deadspin attention.
• Joe Flacco is upset that the Ravens don't want to talk about a contract extension until next season. This means Joe Flacco may not fully grasp the whole lockout dynamic. [Baltimore Sun]
• As far as Dick Harmon is concerned, if you criticize Jimmer Fredette, you resent "Utah, the LDS conservative culture in general and BYU specifically." Rick Reilly was guilty of this recently. Jay Mariotti was guilty of it in 1988. No, seriously, Harmon dusts off some 22-year-old grudge action. That's hotter than his all of his 16 wives combined. [Deseret News] (H/T Tom D.)
• A pasty jag-toothed Brit names Oliver comes to America to write a Masters preview and disses Taco Bell fare as a "horrifically overstuffed midnight burrito"? Oh, hell no. [Telegraph] (H/T Chris Mc)
• You heard right: Ron Ron has been nominated for the NBA's "Outstanding Service And Dedication To The Community" award. [The Lakers Nation]
• Jose Mourinho's nine-year home league-game unbeaten streak as a coach ended with Real Madrid's 1-0 loss to Sporting Gijon yesterday. It meant Barcelona's pretty much a lock to win La Liga. Bad for him and his fans. After the game, he hinted that Cristiano Ronaldo may return to game-available health for Tuesday's UEFA Champions League gave vs. Tottenham. Good for him and his fans. [Daily Mail]
A few stories you might've missed.
Prodigies: A 9-year-old can dribble and score goals with a soccer ball in remarkable fashion. But passing, that's his weakness.