Week 16 here we come. What a gift: meaningful games, playoff implications for the lucky and draft day implications for the depressed. Let's get to it.
NY Giants at NY Jets (CBS): Tom Coughlin responded to Rex Ryan once again essentially saying "I think my team is good" with "Talk is cheap." What obviously followed was that the Jets started running their mouths about how the Giants are overrated and one of Rex's slap dick receivers even talked about how no one is afraid of Jason Pierre-Paul. Meanwhile the Giants graciously took the high road reserved for only the highest of high class organizations. Right? That's totally how it played out.
Oakland at Kansas City (CBS): The AFC West is just a mess. Kansas City at 6-8 is still technically alive. While everyone is losing their god damned minds over Tebow and the Broncos, the Chargers are pulling their usual Lazarus routine. And then the Raiders. The Raiders, who perhaps made the most sense earlier in the season are now on the outside looking in. It's tough to blame Hue Jackson too much since he lost his quarterback, but I don't like him. So I blame him entirely.
Miami at New England (CBS): The Dolphins are usually good for one "Hey, we're a bunch of assholes let's ruin someone's playoff chances" spoiler game a year. In much the same way their predecessors feel compelled to pop (likely) sparkling white wine after some other team loses, it is their raison d'être. So, here's hoping for a season-ending Tom Brady injury this week as opposed to victory over the Jets next week.
Arizona at Cincinnati (FOX): "Asked how Skelton has looked since stepping in, Whisenhunt said, 'John's been thrown into all kinds of different situations and he's done OK, so that doesn't concern me from that standpoint.'" Hey Ken, a word? I know you've got all the personality of a tube sock, but let's cut the shit. "OK"? Skelton has been "OK"? That's like saying Henry VIII was "OK" at murdering wives, or Neil Armstrong was "OK" at being the first person on the moon. Mortal quarterbacks have done "OK" in all kinds of different situations. John Skelton has been Kepler-22bly. [Tuscon Citizen]
Denver at Buffalo (CBS): I was going to talk about how the Buffalo Bills' handling of the Ryan Fitzpatrick contract should be a cautionary tale for the Broncos but then I remembered that Tebow was drafted in the first round. So maybe Josh McDaniel is the cautionary tale. Or, as Tebowmania continues to run wild over us, maybe we, Americans with brains, are the cautionary tale.
St. Louis at Pittsburgh (FOX): Probably the most interesting thing about this game will be the discussion about what the Rams should do if they wind up with the first overall pick in the draft. Do you take Luck and trade Bradford or just trade the pick? Seems like a no-brainer to trade the pick, though. Aren't people saying the exact same things about Andrew Luck that they said about Bradford? Doesn't this happen every single year? Anyway, trade the pick and assemble your offensive line for the next decade.
Minnesota at Washington (FOX):"Mike Shanahan seeks his 158th regular season victory, which would tie him with Hall of Famer Bud Grant for 13th all-time among head coaches." I don't know, given his reputation, one would think he'd be higher up on that list. The Redskins are looking to win their third home game of the year and snap a five game home losing streak. Makes a little more sense, I guess. [WaPo]
Tampa Bay at Carolina (FOX): "It might seem ludicrous to suggest a 22-year-old is redefining his position, but many agree that NFL quarterbacks will evolve over the next several years." It might seem ludicrous? Might? I don't know what kind of glue you're sniffing, Stephen F. Holder, but I'd recommend checking the expiration date. Quarterbacks evolving is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard. Everyone knows that quarterbacks just drop back and throw the ball. That's all they're ever going to do and no one is going to change that. [Tampa Bay Times]
Cleveland at Baltimore (CBS): These two met up just a few short weeks ago and the Browns are still trying to figure out how to stop Ray Rice. Or at least Colt McCoy is, but he's still trying to figure out a lot of things. As the probable 2nd seed in the AFC playoffs, Baltimore has somehow become the "sexy" and "dark horse" pick for those hipster analysts who think picking the Patriots is totally passé.
What You're Watching
Via The 506. CBS (late game included):