Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend

Illustration for article titled The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend

Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts!

The Twins played great all weekend...right up until the point where they lost. Three walk-off wins in three days for New York, plus redemption for the world's biggest A-Hole. Oh, and they somehow cured a little girl's broken heart too.

It was Alex Rodriguez's first series in the new Yankee Stadium and he hit the game-winning homer on Saturday night, so everything's cool with him now. The whip/shaving cream pie in the face is actually an Aztec tradition that is historically given to a tribal chieftain after he has ritually sacrificed the wrong virgin and is meant to signify, "It's all good." That whole embarrassing scandal thing is totally behind us all now. Then Johnny Damon hit a walk-off homer of his own on Sunday and was rewarded with a fake WWE championship belt, which has the same street value as a World Series ring. His parents must be very proud.


So the Twins are now 3-22 in New York under Gardenhire and their terrible lost weekend isn't even over yet! There's a fourth game in this series tonight. How will they lose this one? Walk-off balk? Miss their subway stop? Swine flu?

By the way—the sick little girl who gave Brett Gardner a magical talisman that summons Aslan The Lion to his defense when legging out triples? She got her new heart on Saturday after waiting 107 days on the transplant list, proving that $2,500 baseball tickets are good for America.

Yanks continue walk-off party vs. Twins [MLB]
Another walk-off loss: Did the Twins offend Babe Ruth? [Star Tribune]
What a reward for Gardner: His little fan gets new heart [Newsday]
A Weekend in Hell('s Kitchen) [Bugs and Cranks]

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