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The Most Erotic Bullet Points About This Year's NFL Draft Prospects

Photo: Richard W. Rodriguez (Getty Images)

Here’s a tweet that confirms something already known: NFL draft scouting can often be extremely dumb and completely ridiculous.


That’s from writer Lance Zierlein’s draft-prospect analysis, which covers nearly 500 players, includes thousands of bullet points, and features at least one phrase (“tight skin”) that I’ve never seen before in a football context.

There are more. Of course, once you seek out the strangest sentences in any work, they appear more easily. But a scan of these profiles of incredibly fit men in their early 20s produces more phrasing which wouldn’t be out of place in an erotic novel. It’s not something unique to Zierlein, but the amount of sensual imagery attached to these college students becomes impossible to ignore once you’re attuned to it.


Here are the best bullet points:

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