The NFL Schedule Is Out And Everyone Got Screwed But The Patriots

The NFL officially released the 2019 schedule for all 32 teams on Wednesday, and though the graphic the league used to announce it is an eyesore, there are some great matchups to look forward to. The Saints and Rams get a rematch of last year’s controversial NFC Championship in Week 2. The Patriots and Chiefs get their rematch in Week 14. The Lions and Cardinals are playing in Week 1—which I’m sure someone cares about!

Of course, as with any football-related news, it’s important to note the winners and losers of what just happened. The winners are the New England Patriots, and the losers are the rest of the teams in the league because none of them have it as easy as Tom Brady and the rest of New England. This is clearly the only way to interpret these strength of schedule rankings that are always 100 percent correct and never dependent on potential injuries, declines in form, or the acts of a cruel god that torment your team.

Only 141 more days until this terrible, terrible league starts up again! Woohoo!