Do ninjas count as "athletes?" Is there any possible way the art of being a ninja can be classified as "sports?"
We're asking, because we're looking for an excuse to write about this. Oh, fine: Let's just go to it.
At the University of Georgia, sophomore Jeremiah Ransom attended a "ninjas vs. pirates" party, which sounds about 4,000 times more fun than any party we ever went to in college. As he jogged back to a campus building, he was jumped by officials from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms for being "acting in a somewhat suspicious manner." That's right: They "detained" — that's an agent's knee "detaining" the student's head there in that picture — a guy who was dressed as a ninja.
After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal laws and was not arrested. "It was surreal," Ransom said. "I was jogging from Wesley to Snelling when I heard someone yell 'freeze.'"
We hope the ATF agent actually was a part of a secret Ninja Force, taking down ninjas one ninja at a time. We'd like to be on that Force.
Fine. Ninjas aren't sports-related, no matter how much we try to make them so. You're still glad you know about this story, though, admit it.
ATF Rids Univ. Of Ninja Threat [The Red And Black]