Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

The One That Confirms Greg Oden Was Always An Old-Looking Young Man

Illustration for article titled The One That Confirms Greg Oden Was Always An Old-Looking Young Man

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.


It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Photo: Middle school-aged Greg Oden.

Mike Fratello Knows How To Treat A Lady

This past Saturday night I went to a party at a friend's apartment on Park Avenue South in New York City. At about 3 in the morning, before jumping into a cab and heading home with the slightly above average Gena that I'd managed to pick up, it dawned on me that I was out of toilet paper back at the fetid shitbox I call a home. So I, being the perfect gentleman Deadspin reader that I am, popped into a 24 hour deli to pick some up in the event that my tainted plaything for the evening needed to wipe something up later on. In retrospect, I guess I could've just handed her the roll of Brawny paper towels in my kitchen, but that's not how I roll.

So anyway, after we made our purchases (Gena bought an egg salad sandwich), we exited the deli and were standing on the corning of 18th and Park trying to hail a cab when I noticed this beautiful Asian girl, I mean a hottie in every sense of the word, probably in her early 20s, sort of arguing over something with the guy she was with in front of the W Hotel that sits on the corner there. His back was to me at the time and it was hard to tell exactly what they were saying, but I got the sense that the guy was trying to convince the Asian hottie to call it a night and head back up to his room, while she seemed not ready to do so.

So there I stood, sort of half-assedly trying to hail a cab while my score ate her disgusting egg salad sandwich, looking at this Asian and wishing with every fiber of my bone that she was the one I was taking home instead, when suddenly the guy she was with turned in my direction and gave me a look at his face. Imagine my surprise when it got a good look and realized it was...are you ready for this? Drum roll please...

Mike Fratello.

Yes, that Mike Fratello. The Czar of the Fucking Telestrator was with the hottest young thing on the block, while I was going home with an egg-salad sandwich eating Gena with blisters on her feet.


Just as I was about to throw myself in front of a soy milk delivery in disgust, he coaxed her inside the hotel, thus throwing even more salt into my gaping wound. I still haven't overcome the injustice in all of this, nor do I think I ever will.

Okay, Jamal Anderson Was Not Blowing Anything But Rails

I know Jamal as well as the dude he was caught with, Mark. That picture you have there isn't of "random frat guys." The blonde dude looks like his old teammate Travis Hall who he is in business with and hangs out with. He also didn't blow anyone. The guy has a kid for christs sakes. Him and Mark were doing some blow end of story. If you wanna print trash to get hits or whatever that is cool, but leave Jamal alone. He's a nice dude and he isn't that famous to where people outside of Atlanta know him that well. Make fun of Paris Hilton or something. Hell even make fun of Travis Henry who is bankrupt because he got caught cocaine trafficking and has 11 kids from 10 different women. The fact is he didn't' blow Mark and Mark didn't blow him. The only thing getting blown was blow.


But UNC Is Looking For Some White Bitches To Blow Them

so last night im in chapel hill with the usual crew and all of the
sudden we see a belligerently drunk tyler hansborough slapping stop
signs and pounding the ground all the way down the sidewalk. he is
accompanied by a posse of middle-aged white dudes who part like the
red sea to let him through and wreak his gay-ass havoc. once he
passes, one of the dudes comes up to us and says, "yeah, that's the
beast alright". beast? really? laaaaame.


oh, but the fun doesnt end there. we walk into the library, grab some
beers, and about 5 minutes later the rest of the unc team comes in and
starts shouting "where the bitches at? i want a white bitch blow me
now! we are motherfucking champions!" wow. really? necessary? i think

He Must Be New Here

Deadspin is cool and all that. But at least get the man's name right.



TJ Ballgame

Yahoo! Sports' PR Team Loves To Pee On

The comScore numbers are out, and Yahoo! Sports is the clear online sports leader with more than 24.8 million unique users in February 2009. The strong numbers are even more significant because Yahoo! Sports experienced a 29% year-over-year increase in unique users, compared with average growth of only 2% by others in the category. To be clear, Yahoo! Sports is blowing the competition away:

February 2008 Unique Users

* Yahoo! Sports 24,762 (up 29%)
* ESPN 17,119 (down 4%)
* Fox Sports 14,255 (down 18%)
* AOL 10,040 (down 14%)


comScore March 2009

In addition to scoring the largest sports audience on the Internet, Yahoo! Sports beat its closest competitor, ESPN, by nearly 8 million users. For the last 11 months the site has been firmly in the #1 spot on the Web, and in August 2008 Yahoo! Sports scorched its competition with its 38 million users, largely because of Yahoo!'s gold medal performance with the Summer Olympic Games. Now legions of sports fans are starting their online sports experience with Yahoo! Sports, and the site continues to successfully give sports fans the best fantasy games, award-winning editorial content, an active blogging community, and compelling video – a winning combination.


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