Your morning roundup for June 11, the day we realized, to paraphrase David Foster Wallace, that J.J. Abrams, director of Super 8 must surely have been ignorant of the meaning of "suppurate." Video via @ctvbc.
What we watched: We watched the Canucks beat the Bruins, 1-0, with a third-period Tim Thomas overplay (sound familiar?) resulting in the game's only goal. The series we thought we had in Boston—with lots of goals, an emotionally fragile Roberto Luongo, Bruins romps—well, last night wasn't that. Instead, it was one of the poorly officiated nailbiters we've gotten every time up North. Worry not, though. Game six is in Boston.
What we're watching: We've nearly exhausted our supply of playoff sports. It's always weird, observing the flurry of NHL and NBA action we had a month ago, that the once ceaseless playoff spigot today yields nothing. The rawhide lining? Baseball season, full swing. Sure, you could watch Cubs-Phillies, with Cliff Lee, or Reds-Giants, with Tim Lincecum. One of them will almost certainly be your Fox game of the week, aces and all. But we'll be watching the Brewers-Cardinals game: Milwaukee's 36-28, St. Louis is 38-27. They're fighting atop the NL Central. And the pitchers, my, my: Zack Greinke and Chris Carpenter, two fellows with two Cy Youngs, if middling figures this year. Lest you forget, there's Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun and the inexplicably mashing Lance Berkman. Get used to a summer of this. Dip your toes in the still chilly water tonight.
Dana Holgorsen poured one out for Bill Stewart tonight: "After a week of drama that showed no signs of relenting, something in West Virginia's football program had to give. That something was head coach Bill Stewart. His presence became such a distraction that athletic director Oliver Luck decided late Friday to eliminate it. After introducing coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen as the new head man at a late-night press conference, a stoic Luck acknowledged having a series of "very frank and candid" conversations with Stewart over the past few days about unspecified "rumors and innuendo" that had been dogging the program." [ESPN]
Ain't no mountains, ain't no valleys: "Why do we keep on believing that we'll see the arc of LeBron James' career just around the next corner? It's all Michael Jordan's fault. His Airness isn't just the best player in NBA history. He also had the least ambiguous career trajectory-early defeats followed by unending success-of any athlete in the history of pro sports. Yes, LeBron James has (as of yet) not won an NBA title. But the reason his path seems so troubling is that it's been the exact opposite of Jordan-esque-less of an arc than a flat line, one that's missing both Jordan's formative struggles and subsequent triumphs." [Slate]
The five teams that could move to LA: "The fact that the Southern California-based AEG corporation is interested in bringing an NFL team back to Los Angeles may be the worst-kept secret in America. But the company, owned by billionaire Philip Anschutz and run by president Tim Leiweke (brother of former Seattle Seahawks CEO Tod), expressed real and concrete interest in moving a team to SoCal - the first time in 16 years that the league would be located there - for a Thursday story in the Orange County Register. "St. Louis, Jacksonville, not extensively, certainly Oakland, San Diego, Minnesota are still in the mix," Leiweke told reporter Scott M. Reed, when asked which franchises AEG had been talking to." [Shutdown Corner]
A sit-down with Jenn Sterger: "Business Insider (BI): Most people know you from the October Brett Favre scandal, but you actually had an entertainment career before that. What was your first break? Jenn Sterger (JS): People always call [my career] Pamela Anderson-esque. I don't know why that is, because I don't have a sex tape." [Business Insider]
A berate-down with Jenn Sterger and Craig Carton: "Many do not think JS was a 'victim' in the Favre scandal (and even she says that she was not): "I've never sat there and pretended to be a victim," she said. "If I wanted to blow this up I'd have blown it up two years ago … when I could have used the money because the economy had taken a giant crap." She was a victim today." [Bob's Blitz]
Yup: "I consider Craggs a friend and a bit of a badass, but bias or no, I side with him here perhaps because we both came to journalism through newspapers, and are both one-time editorial employees of different ESPN editorial tentacles. Allow me to echo his skepticism. ESPN is a dangerous place for a scrupulous person to work because the network's M.O. is to favor the sanitized and shiny over the nuanced or disturbing; to promote profit over novelty; to carnival-bark athletes into celebrities, then siphon riches off the fame it fathers. This isn't to say that ESPN doesn't make some damn fine television or employ a great number of talented writers and editors; it does. But the corporate-editorial ethos views the world as a team venture waiting to happen, as one big happy cross-promoting locker room. Worthwhile journalism, which is at turns caustic and grim and vulgar and hostile, is too messy to venture in great quantity." [CJR]
We are all Dave McKenna CXXVII: Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets concussed by LaRon Landry.
The ten worst prom stories ever: "I went to high school outside of Philadelphia and it was decided that we would have our prom across state lines at the Camden (NJ) aquarium. The aquarium is not in a good part of town, hell Camden has not had a good part of town since the 1950's, anyhow it was my dates dream to arrive at her prom in a horse drawn carriage. Unable to deter her from the idea I resolved to make the best of it. Two white kids from the suburbs riding in a horse drawn carriage through the streets of Camden must of made quite a sight. As we approached the aquarium a gun shot went off, very close by, and spooked the horse who took off at a gallop. After a block the driver managed to stop the horse but not before my date, terrified at the gun shot and the runaway carriage, pissed herself." [Jezebel]
Dude, you gave up eight goals two games ago: "Roberto Luongo speaks the truth in this post-Game 5 comment about Max Lapierre's game-winning goal: Tim Thomas plays aggressively, and thus is susceptible to the type of goal Kevin Bieksa's bank-pass set up. So keep that in mind while you listen to one NHL goalie explain that a goal surrendered by another NHL goalie would have been "an easy save for me."" [Puck Daddy]