Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

The Story Of A Man And His Ball

Isaac Stockton will not be denied his ball! The wide receiver from Chadron State College (FUN FACT: Don Beebe is a notable alum) is set to become an Internet sensation after making this, one of the more spectacular catches you'll ever see. (Those of you with ADD may want to skip ahead to about 18 seconds in.) But it's not just a mind-blowing grab; if you look closely enough it's a highly-romantic mini three-act play. ACT I: A Fleeting Glimpse of Happiness After years spent pining away for his One True Love, our Hero finally gets her attention and grasps her in his arms. But dreams of being happily ever after are in jeopardy as trouble brews on the horizon. Trouble in the form of a bone-crushing helmet-to-helmet hit. ACT II: Boomshakalaka! Our Hero is separated from his One True Love after nearly getting decapitated by the Antagonist, another of the lady's many gentlemen suitors, because the lady is obviously a whore. Will their love ever be rekindled? Or will our Hero be forced to spend his remaining days traveling the world alone, momentarily taking his mind off this past heartbreak with drug cocktails and low-priced, high-diseased prostitutes? ACT III: The Resolution Followed By Much Intercourse Thank goodness for the story's Deus Ex Machina, in this case a little thing called "gravity". Falling back into his hands, our Hero and his One True Love are forever reunited in the most romantic touchdown in football history. The two consummate their relationship behind closed doors and with much lubrication. THE END.


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