One of the big storylines in the run-up to this summer’s Olympics was the fact that many of America’s best basketball players would not be making the trip. Steph Curry and LeBron James both decided they’d rather do other things this summer, Anthony Davis and LaMarcus Aldridge got hurt, and Russell Wesbrook, Kawhi Leonard, Chris Paul, John Wall, and Blake Griffin all said, “Nah.”
For a little while there, it looked like we were going to be sending over Kyle Lowry and some other dudes, and might actually end up in some trouble. But the 12-man roster is now official, and everything will be fine.
Here’s what we’re jammin’ with in Rio:
That’s a fine team. A good team. DeMarcus Cousins will pick his teeth with the bones of opposing frontcourts, Kevin Durant will score 40 points whenever he damn well pleases, Draymond Green will snatch the dick and balls off any big Euro who gets chesty, and Kyrie Irving will embark on a post-Finals can’t-tell-me-nothin’ campaign and lead the team in scoring. Harrison Barnes will sleep in a trash can and make sure everyone remembers to put on mosquito repellant. We’re gonna get that dang gold medal.