Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

The Little League World Series is going on, you realized over the weekend, as you scrolled through your digital cable guide. That means ESPN is lying about fastball velocities and kids' dreams are getting crushed. They will never become Chris Drury or Todd fucking Frazier. They'll just sit around, talking 'bout the old times, trying to recapture glory days.


Anyway, the little leaguers' managers don't yet want to expose them to the soul-crushing disappointment and failure that awaits them in adult life. So they say sad nice things to ESPN and the Associated Press when the game ends:

"I think we did some really good things here," Indiana manager Tim Porter said. "At the end of the day life is a lot bigger than baseball. ... We would have liked to win this thing, but we didn't."

"Like I told the kids, you came to visit," New Jersey manager Mike Ruggiero said. "You're on the best field in the world and you played on it."

"I just told them they had a great tournament and to keep their heads up," Canada manager Vito Bordignon said. "They represented Canada well."

They represented Canada well. Come on. So did Bryan Adams.



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