In the eighth inning of tonight’s 3-2 Cubs victory over the Dodgers, there was, for a few moments, a third-strike call on Curtis Granderson. Just until the umpires conferred for a bit and determined that Granderson had in fact fouled the ball off rather than swinging and missing. This made Cubs manager Joe Maddon incredibly angry, enough so to get himself ejected. (Though he was later vindicated—after the game, umpire Jim Wolf admitted that the call had been wrong.) Ultimately, in the context of the game, this call did not really matter so much; the Cubs required just one more pitch to strike Granderson out. But in the context of adult tantrums, this mattered quite a bit, as it provided some truly glorious material for those who appreciate the fine art of getting really and truly mad:
1) WOW you are so fucking STUPID let me tell you EXACTLY HOW THIS THING IS GOING TO GO
2) LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME L I S T E N T O M E?????
I AM RIGHT
I AM RIGHT
YOU ARE WRONG, I AM RIGHT
3) Ah, a third one of you. Well. Gentlemen. Yes. Let us have a conversation. I have valid points here, okay? Let me make my valid points. We’re all adults. Let us use some logic. I have some logic. Here it is: the bat? It didn’t touch the motherfucking ball.
4) WELL, if you’re going to be like that, then I’m just gonna have to walk the hell away!! Jesus Christ!!!! IDIOTS!
5) you do not deserve the energy of hand gestures. let me continue to scream into the void.