This Place Is Restricted, Wang

Who needs an A-Rod long-ball when you've got a Wang that just won't quit? Sir Alex failed to hit his 500th homer (again) but Robinson Cano picked up his slack (again!) as the Yankees dominated the Royals 7-1. Chien-Ming Wang allowed just 8 men to reach base in seven innings of work while Odalis Perez notched his tenth loss of the year. That makes three double-digit losing seasons in his past six. In other news, Kansas City sucks sweaty balls.

• The Nats Are Ballin'! Washington continued their assault on the .500 mark with a win of the walk-off variety. Ryan Zimmerman's ninth inning single drove in Felipe Lopez for the winning run against the Cardinals. Since being written off as one of the worst teams of the decade after a 9-25 start, the Nationals have amassed a promising record of 40-35. They're now just one back of St. Louis in the meaningless-win column. ¡Manny Acta por Mayor!

• Chad Billingsley Can't Hit For Shit. The future carrier of Alyssa Milano Disease was pitching a gem into the seventh until somebody named Chris Snyder hit the ball all the way over the fence. Doug Davis and Jose Valverde combined for the three-hit shutout.

• Neither Can Barry Bonds. Nope, no home run for Barry last night. At this point it's fair to assume that he's just stringing this thing along to fuck up Bud Selig's travel schedule. If Barry keeps this up Bud's going to miss Eurofurence '07 (and this year it's in Germany!).