This Video Of An Old Crimson Tide Fan Lip-Synching "Call Me Maybe" Is The Most Discomforting Thing Ever

From tipster William, with whom we will be forever angry with due to what he has exposed us to, comes the above video. The video depicts an elderly gentleman lip-synching to "Call Me Maybe," which is A Thing on YouTube these days, but this version goes beyond "Oh man this song is so stupid and annoying" territory and plunges you straight into "Holy shit what am I watching right now and why does my stomach suddenly hurt?" territory.

How does one even begin to describe all of the weirdness contained within this video? I suppose we could start with the picture that our old-timey lip-syncher is holding up at the beginning, which I think depicts a well of some sort. I can't tell what the bubble above the well says, but I'm sure that it is something along the lines of, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

Then guy starts lip-synching, witch isn't so bad despite the blank look on his face, and then he holds up a piece of paper with a bunch of dimes and a pair of lips drawn on it because he's doing that literal-interpretation-of-song-lyrics-through-the-use-of-props thing, and oh my god he just lifted up his shirt and showed us his nipples.

The weirdness continues from there, but my personal favorite moment comes when he holds up a scrawled-on piece of paper that reads:

The Other SEC BOYS & OTHER College Football Conferences Boys Chase ME...RTR 14 [unintelligible]

This man is the Son of Sam of Alabama fans.

Things come to a close with the man holding up a picture of a sexy(?) woman with a red blotch covering her face and some white tape(?) across her chest. This woman may be a murder victim.