This Week In The SSW

For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on Monday. Here's this week's SSW.

PREVIOUS SSW

Green Bay is decent, but reality, thy name is Merriman.

NEW SSW

The country dudes Favre practices with in those Wrangler ads have really helped Brylcreem Brett sharpen his game.

PREVIOUS SSW

Donovan McNabb's attempt to change site of Eagles-Lions game to Jena, Louisiana comes up short.

NEW SSW

Superstition is fine, but please don't tell me you'll be wearing those unis ever again. Ever.

PREVIOUS SSW

They run, they hit, they get things done in the crunch—beware the Redskins, the NFC's bounceback team.

NEW SSW

Joe Gibbs is the NFL's Bobby Bowden, looking on helplessly as his team plays on without his (1980's era) input. Next time, try Southeast Jerome on the goal line.

PREVIOUS SSW

Has Jacksonville's offense broken the childproof locks on Jack Del Rio's axe cabinet?

NEW SSW

Nothing like an 18-play, 12-minute drive to get a team choppin' wood.

PREVIOUS SSW

Cincinnati has to have the ball last to prevail, because they sure aren't stopping anybody in crunch time.

NEW SSW

In order to have the ball last, one must not fumble the kickoff. Is it possible it's the Bengals' special teams that are the weakest link?

PREVIOUS SSW

The Giants defense is so awful, the team asked Sam Huff to come down from the Skins' broadcast booth to suit up against Washington.

NEW SSW

Remember Gary Reasons? This goal-line stand was just like that one—except without the Super Bowl caliber team and the dramatic snowy field. Meanwhile, Tom Coughlin remains unkillable with conventional weapons.

PREVIOUS SSW

As long as the Cowboys play teams that can't throw deep, they are tough to beat.

NEW SSW

The only thing holding this super team back last year was Parcells.

PREVIOUS SSW

Cards could be easily 0-2, easily 2-0. Who the hell knows what kind of team they are? At least they have Leinart...

NEW SSW

Long-distance Daddy-dom doesn't mix with studying game film. Meanwhile, Kurt Warner's freaky wife seen brandishing steak knife in Paris Hilton's direction, screaming "keep your sickness away from my Special K!!"

PREVIOUS SSW

Once again, the Bears defense and special teams will be asked to win games in spite of Rex Grossman.

NEW SSW

The Bears defense and special teams main suspects should the brakes fail on Rex's GMC Yukon.

PREVIOUS SSW

The tide may be rising over Norv's head, but his talented team will provide a Mae West.

NEW SSW

Who is laughing harder, Marty Schottenheimer or Jose Mourinho?

PREVIOUS SSW

The Raiders won't win a game until the franchise admits that Al Davis, in fact, died four years ago.

NEW SSW

Once innovators, the Raiders resort to copycat tactics to win the game at the gun. Well played, though not exactly cricket. And it's not like the "iced" kicker choked—the figgie was blocked. Just win, baby!

PREVIOUS SSW

D'Brickashaw Ferguson is an average tackle not living up to hype, draft position, or cool name.

NEW SSW

D'Brickashaw Ferguson let Jason Taylor know life will be much more difficult when Miami plays the Jets twice a year.

PREVIOUS SSW

We are not beholden to the Law of 370, sayeth Kansas City, who will run LJ until his lower extremities are scattered all over Arrowhead Stadium.

NEW SSW

OK, so it's not 1974, we'll throw the ball a little. Hey, looky there, a touchdown!

PREVIOUS SSW

The MNF legions, the Superdome, Spike Lee—cue up the inevitable video of still storm-damaged New Orleans, cause it's time to jerk the tears once again.

NEW SSW

Who says things aren't back to normal in the Crescent City—the Saints are back to being terrible. Oh, and Daunte Culpepper is better than Brees. The Nicktator was right!