Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time

Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will.

Tiger's Masters Week Started with a press conference. As there were no limitations on questions, reporters could fire away, finally take him to task. While they didn't, a crucial aspect of Tiger's plan was revealed: saying as many first names as possible. Doing so would subliminally force the public, the media and corporate America to see him as a down to Earth, likable fella. Using a first name means you are familiar with the person you are talking or referring to. If Tiger does that enough, people will start to think that since he has all these friends, he must be a pretty good guy. "I mean, if Steiny and Dr. Whiten can tolerate him, how bad can he be?"

Tiger doesn't have friends? He has advisers, agents, Nike and PepsiCo handlers. Those aren't friends. The people he thinks are friends he can't stand. Examine his reaction to a Stevie Williams question: Shaking his head, halting speech, licking his lips, literally searching for the words, etc. If that's not a tell for lying, I should probably give up my dreams of being the next The Closer here and now.

Of course, it's a lot of fun to take him out of context to sound like he's up to his old tomcatting ways with "Hank."