Today In The Premiership...

• Chelsea 2-2 Fulham. Oh, that one hurts. Taking the draw at home against a middle-of-the-table Fulham side... I guess you suck, Chelsea. It's their second straight draw, and fourth consecutive Premiership game in which they've given up two goals (not coincidentally also the fourth straight game that John Terry has missed). It leaves Chelsea six points behind Manchester United in the standings, this one coming in part because big, hairy, American winning machine Carlos Bocanegra scored in the 84th minute to equalize things.

• Manchester United 3-2 Reading. It was the Cristiano Ronaldo show for United, as he set up Ole Gunnar Solskjaer for United's first goal, and then scored on a Solskjaer rebound for the second goal. Before the game, Sir Alex Ferguson was given a silver trophy because he's turning 65 tomorrow. Someone somewhere owes Joe Paterno a big fucking trophy.

• Bolton 3-2 Portsmouth. And who's third in the standings behind Man United and Chelsea? That would be the Wanderers of Bolton, who beat Portsmouth this afternoon. If their fifth straight win, propelling them ahead of Liverpool and Arsenal. Arsenal can catch them if they win the late game this afternoon, but they do currently trail sad-sack Sheffield United 1-0 late in that one.