Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Todays Australian Open Action Nudity and Violence-Free

In a nice change of pace, today's Aussie Open produced no disturbing video images. Unless you happen to be Rafael Nadal or Andy Murray's opponent.

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While yesterday's matches featured a bit more off-the-court action than organizers had hoped for, what with the chair-throwing mini-riot and the free-range wang-danglers, today attention was focused back on the tennis. Number one-seeded Nadal dusted off Tammy Haas in straight sets, while the fourth-seeded Murray did the same to Jurgen Melzer. The two are still on track to square off in the semis, in just the latest incarnation of that classic Spanish-Scottish rivalry.

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Meanwhile, on the women's side, Serena Williams easily knocked off China's Peng Shuai (U-S-A! U-S-A!) to keep her quest for a tenth Grand Slam title on track. Serena also bravely shared her recollection of the disturbing events from her previous match:

I noticed he didn't have underwear on. I thought, 'OK, I must be seeing things.' Then I just thought, 'my eyes, my innocent eyes'

Friggin' Australians, traumatizing innocent North American athletes. Just for that, I'm deleting Flight of the Conchords from my "Scheduled Recordings" list.

Nadal, Murray dominate at Australian Open [AP]

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