Truck off! NFL proves hats are a big rig-ged game

10-4 good buddy, there’s a papa bear on the prowl, watch your six. Over.

Well I’ll be damned. The new NFL Draft hats are here, and they sure are… something. Never before has the NFL decided to go completely away from pop culture and turn their draft party into a BBQ-slingin’, tailgate-appealin’ monster truck jam. But based on these hats, I can only assume that’s what we should expect in Cleveland on April 29th.

They went full trucker hat. CB radio not included.

That’s right. Trucker hat. And don’t get me wrong, I like the occasional trucker hat. The way in which they decided to do the patches on the front of them, however, is straight out of a honkytonk. It’s a stark pivot from the 59FIFTY fitted hats that we’re so accustomed to and that tend to be the more popular option. But no, the NFL went with a hat that looks like it can be picked up at a Route 66 gas station while the radio blares Kenny Chesney. Is this Bob’s Country Bunker from the Blues Brothers movie? That’s right, they play both kinds of music here – country… and western.

Specifically, that Buffalo Bills hat. That looks like the worst NASCAR knockoff branding I’ve ever seen. Or, as has previously been pointed out by multiple accounts, it looks exactly like a Kingsford Charcoal hat. It looks even MORE like a Kingsford Charcoal hat in the curved bill variety.

Stay woke, NFL. You’ve done a marvelous job once again of providing a product to incoming rookies that they will have absolutely zero desire to wear, and will likely be embarrassed to be seen in. At least they only have to wear it for one day – put on the hat, take a picture with Roger Goodell, tell whichever reporter is asking them, “So, how does it feel to make the NFL?” that they’re blessed, thank God, thank their mom, then throw this hat straight into an incinerator where it belongs.

The NFL shoulda pumped their jake brakes on this one.