USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks

For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of the game, it's still a little jarring that the late-game collapse which sealed the 3-2 win for the home team came from the feet of the car-fucking, panty-flashing, sometimes-striker Nicklas Bendtner.

Bendtner, you probably haven't realized, is currently plying his trade with Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga. The Wolves are enjoying a phenomenal season, currently in 2nd place in the league with one of the world's premier attacks, led by the most deadly assist man in the world and, on current form, the hottest striker.

Naturally, the striker with 13 goals in 14 league appearances is Bas Dost, not Bendtner. The Dane has scored four goals in all competitions for his German employers, three of which came in the Europa League, the latest of which he scored late on in last week's routing of Inter. Bendtner took this moment of doing his actual job for the first time in 2015 to agitate for a starting position over Dost:

'I have been training really well and done everything you've asked me, so am I happy with my situation? No, not at all,' said Bendtner.

'I've played a match and scored a goal, of course excellent, but the lack of playing time must change.'

This is the guy we let beat us, America. Though to be fair, Denmark fans were probably thinking the same thing after Jozy Altidore's opening goal.

[Univision]