Week 13.5 NFL Powerless Rankings: Nothing good is happening for these teams

Week 13.5 NFL Powerless Rankings: Nothing good is happening for these teams

More of the same as Tom Brady pulls out a comeback win and the Bears lose to the Packers

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Same, Sean. Same.
Same, Sean. Same.
Image: Getty Images

At the intersection of Week 14 and Week 13, it’s time to take an unsettling look at this season’s worst. These are the squads who need a 12th man on the field to keep pace with their peers because whatever they’re doing right now isn’t working. Let’s dive in, but hold your nose, the stench is strong.

Teams on the doorstep: Carolina Panthers (4-8), Arizona Cardinals (4-8), Indianapolis Colts (4-8)

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5. New Orleans Saints (4-9)

5. New Orleans Saints (4-9)

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The New Orleans Saints outplayed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for about 50 minutes on Monday Night Football. Their pass rush contained the Bucs and had Brady until the Saints began playing not to lose. Brady’s surgical dissection of the Saints left them reeling. Not only did they give up 14 points with 6 minutes to go and possession of the ball,

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New Orleans Saints (cont’d)

New Orleans Saints (cont’d)

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The loss dropped the Saints to 4-9 and last place in the NFC South. Brady’s struggles against the Saints since he joined the Bucs have only been rivaled by his Patriot-era inability to conquer Eli Manning or the Ray Lewis-era Ravens. Dennis Allen has now lost twice to the Bucs this season and has to hope his regime gets a second chance to take another crack at the division title in 2023.

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4. Chicago Bears (3-10)

4. Chicago Bears (3-10)

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The Bears actually outgained the Packers and were much more competitive than their Week 3 loss to Green Bay. Justin Fields scooted 56 yards on a first-quarter touchdown run, but with the game on the line, made another boneheaded throw that sealed the victory for Green Bay.

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Bears (cont’d)

Bears (cont’d)

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Fields is now 0-4 against the Packers and Chicago deed owner Aaron Rodgers. The Packers end their season with a brutal slate that includes the 11-1 Eagles, 9-3 Bills, and 10-2 Vikings.

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3. Los Angeles Rams (3-9)

3. Los Angeles Rams (3-9)

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Wolford and Perkins sound more like a dodgy personal injury firm than the Rams’ depth chart. After weeks of spotty play, Los Angeles decided to go with the Nancy Grace of quarterbacks. He’s a hothead, not very good at his job considering his celebrity.

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Rams (cont’d)

Rams (cont’d)

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Signing Baker Mayfield draws attention to the Rams’ desperation and the fact that they just want to win games down the stretch because they don’t own their first-round pick in 2023. Instead, it’s the Lions who could come away with a top-shelf quarterback in a bountiful class courtesy of the Rams.

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2. Denver Broncos (3-9)

2. Denver Broncos (3-9)

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Denver’s endzone allergies flared up during Sunday’s 10-9 loss to the Baltimore Ravens. Lamar Jackson exited on the final play of the fourth quarter and Denver’s defense put Tyler Huntley in a headlock. Unfortunately, Russ continued his season-long trend of cosplaying as Baker Mayfield by wasting the best defense he’s had in his corner since the Legion of Boom was in its prime.

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Broncos (cont’d)

Broncos (cont’d)

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Then, on the final drive, Brandon McManus came out to airball the game-winning field goal from 63 yards out. Right now, the Broncos are half a team. Their defense allows fewer points than every team except the San Francisco 49ers and the offense is last in scoring.

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1. Houston Texans (1-10-1)

1. Houston Texans (1-10-1)

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New starter Kyle Allen’s second start went even worse than his first. In both appearances, he’s thrown 39 attempts and had the week’s worst QBR for a starting quarterback with a 4.1 rating. The only upside was that former franchise cornerstone Deshaun Watson was nearly as inept.

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Texans (cont’d)

Texans (cont’d)

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Things can’t get much worse in Houston because they’ve plateaued as the league’s bottom feeder. Unlike Denver and Los Angeles, at least they still possess their own first-round pick, so this may not all be for nothing. What lies ahead for Houston is nothing, but the Dallas Cowboys in Week 14, misery and shame, lots of shame.

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