For the tournament, we're calling Applebee's franchises in different cities across the country immediately after the local institution has completed its game, win or lose. We'll pretend to be oblivious about what just happened in order to get a detailed game description from someone in the restaurant. At the end of every call, we'll also ask for "those boneless chickens." We'll be met with friendliness (everywhere) and confusion (no, it is not called "Florida Coast Guard University"). We promise it will be a delightful practice in modern American communication and neighborliness. Today, we continue with calls from the round of 64. Enjoy.

Wisconsin

"What happened?"'

"They didn't score as many points as the other team."

Advertisement

Pacific

"Nope, nope, it was pretty bad, actually."

Advertisement

Ole Miss

"Hey, does anybody know what the score of the game was?"

Advertisement

Notre Dame

"Oh, I had them going to the Selective Six. That's too bad."

Advertisement

N.C. State

"I have some bad news…"

Advertisement

Kansas State

"They weren't able to shoot very good free throws."

Advertisement

Iona

"Not to burst your bubble, I'm just sayin'."

Advertisement

Indiana

"We won by big. Like 20 points."

Advertisement

Georgetown

"Yep, uh, Florida Coast Guard, or something like that."

Advertisement

Florida Gulf Coast

"I'm not kiddin' you..."

Advertisement

Duke

"I'm not a Duke fan, so they look crappy to me all the time."

Advertisement

Albany

"My other botanist friends are gonna be upset with me; I told them it was at 4:00."

Advertisement

Note: We called a local Applebee's for every team, but we've selected the most entertaining reports here. More to come for the Sweet Sixteen.