Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

What Happens When A Soccer Team Finds Out It Has Super Ugly New Uniforms

Fucking with people is funny all on its own—like here with this sure-it's-an-ad-but-whatever video showing terrible new kits to the Ajax squad—but there's something extra that happens when you mess with the young, rich and powerful. You find out that, you know, you can't really fuck with professional athletes.

Watch the younger guys in the video, as they walk through the stages of incredulity. They aren't fucking around! Whatever ad bro thought this up probably figured they'd catch the guys acquiescing to some dipshit design or just making uncomfortable noises and faces the whole time. But watch keeper Jasper Cillessen, in the black shirt, march right from shock to deadass no-fucking-way in a blink. No good humor, no parsing words, just No, man. The others come around to that point not much later. Does that come off as being a bit of a strident dickhead? Sure. But it's also the confidence of a senator or a CEO, or a pro athlete. This is what stacking successes on top of talent on top of money on top of athletic industrial complex sociopathy looks like—telling a man with an ugly shirt to fuck off, his shirt is ugly.


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