By now, you’ve probably filled out your NCAA Tournament bracket with (a pen/typed computer words/the blood of your enemies) and submitted it to (the guy who’s organizing it/a website/your shrine to The Ancient Ones). While the bad picks you made to fill out your bracket are most likely matters of the public record, only you know the geometry of how you made those picks.

You may not know it, but the order in which you make your picks says a lot about what kind of person you are and how you make your way through this life. Luckily, we have some dumb drawings with which to diagnose you.


Dogs seem to trust you. When you were in college, you feigned an overly developed affinity for Godard and Truffaut. You are probably taking this bracket too seriously, you should relax and just pick the schools with the coolest mascots or something.



You “march to the beat of your own drummer”, which is to say, you sometimes don’t brush your teeth. It’s fine, it happens. Alternately, you could be a USC fan and wanted to start with your team, which means you definitely have someone who brushes your teeth for you.


All Diagonal And Shit

You have curiously strong opinions on Vine stars, because you are a teen. Only a teen would fill their bracket out this way.


Also, maybe you filled out a quadrant of your bracket and got distracted, came back and filled out another quarter, then got distracted and the process kept repeating until you finished. Check, you have Villanova playing itself in the Final Four. Nice one dingus.

Up-Down Up-Down


You are a banker or maybe a lawyer. You picked Yale to win because Stanford wasn’t in the tournament this year and the Bulldogs “exude class.” You will finish last in your pool, but at least you picked Buffalo over Miami.


You are a librarian or you’ve eaten some pretty good and weird drugs and right now you see letters like numbers like goldfish or something. The picture for this one would have taken too long to make, so I didn’t make one.



You can count, good for you. Did you ever think of this one: all the numbers in each matchup add up to 17! I know! It’s wild! For every 1 there is a 16. The universe has a way of balancing itself out.

Once you realized that after picking like two games, you started going counter-clockwise because that’s the easiest way to do it man.


Once With Your Head, Once With Your Heart

You are probably going to win your pool because this whole thing is too chaotic to predict.

With A Hairless Cat

Congratulations, you fed your cat.