The first weekend of baseball season wouldn't be complete without an "Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph" available to the highest bidder. As of 11 a.m., there were zero takers on the starting bid of $1. Fine, it's not authenticated, but this is still shocking when you consider that there's a "Chipper Jones Hand Signed Autographed Atlanta Braves Mini Batting Helmet" listed for $69.96 on Amazon.

Do I hear $2?

Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph [eBay] (H/T Jeff D.)