Having only won a single game in their last 13, culminating in three straight losses to the Chicago Cubs, the Chicago White Sox are struggling to attract fans to the ballpark. Perhaps having intuited that a .111-hitting Yoan Moncada, Alen Hanson, David Holmberg, and Whothefuckis Thatguy aren’t going to draw in even bored South Siders, the Sox are deploying a new weapon:
Whether or not the franks succeed in luring fans through the gates, at least they’ll give disgruntled Pale Hose fans something other than the damn bullpen on which to blame their indigestion.
Disclosure: The author of this piece has been provided Gordon Beckham’s used footwear by the Chicago White Sox, and has been sent a Hawk Harrelson alarm clock by a White Sox enthusiast. His opinions are his own.