Whitey Herzog Is Mad, Consarn It

As you would probably expect, growing up a Cardinals fan made us revere old Redbirds manager Whitey Herzog. (We even interviewed him once in college, though, to be fair, we weren't using the revolutionary interviewing techniques of ESPN.) He was the grandfather who would kick your ass, take you fishing and let you drink beer; we imagined him, Jack Buck and Auggie Busch getting bombed on the hometown product while staying up all night playing poker.

But in recent years, since retiring, Whitey is overstaying his welcome. He writes books that sound tough and levelheaded but are actually completely unrealistic. He hints vaguely about managing again someday, though that boat clearly sailed 10 years ago. And, apparently, he explodes on vulgar tirades against small-town reporters while speaking at children's charity functions.

My question to Herzog: "Out of all the things you could have talked about, why did you choose to talk about steroids?" His response: a profanity-riddled tirade, complete with 11 expletives. At a children's charity function, mind you. Herzog refused to answer the question and called me something we can't print in The Southern. But he wasn't finished. He pegged me with four more expletives inside Du Quoin's American Legion hall, where kids, parents and grandparents were still milling around. (Did I mention this was a fundraiser for children's charities?)

We're not sure Whitey Herzog braying expletives around children and grandparents is something that should necessarily be shied away from. Though we still have a feeling the "expletives" were "dagnabbed bullsnoot" or something similarly octogenarian.

Cardinals Should Keep Herzog Off Their Preferred Speaker List [The Southern Illinoisian]