Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Who Had The Worse Shitty Week: Tiger Or Phil?

Illustration for article titled Who Had The Worse Shitty Week: Tiger Or Phil?

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson each had awful weeks at the PGA Championship. But we have an important question that needs answering: ¿Quien fue más malo?


Tiger's week:

  • 71-70-73-70 for a boring-ass four-over 284
  • 10 birdies, cancelled out by 10 bogeys
  • A 30-hole stretch from the 18th on Friday to the back nine on Sunday with one birdie
  • A three-under stretch over four holes on the back nine on Sunday, because that was exactly when he needed it
  • Approximately three good putts

Phil's week:

  • 71-71-78-72 for a 12-over 292
  • Three 7s, three 6s
  • Two triple bogeys, three double bogeys
  • The second-worst round of the third round, which included one five-hole stretch of five-over play
  • A birdie-triple bogey-birdie-double bogey stretch on Sunday that left him a duck hook away from finishing dead fucking last among players who made the cut one major after winning the whole damn British Open for the first time
  • This

I think I'm going with Tiger, because boring is the exact opposite of what Tiger was for so many years, and Phil blowing up and doing things wrong is at least entertaining in its Hindenbergness. Tiger also made no move, whatsoever, until that feeble Sunday run, while ol' FIGJAM at least had the decency to plummet like a rock.


Congratulations are also in order to the two best golfers of their generation, by the way, for being done with their Sunday rounds before the leaders tee off. Efficiency!

Photo: Charlie Riedel/AP

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