Several blonde women of various ages may or may not have driven large vehicles from the Tiger Woods' household to a hospital and possibly back again in the latest craven attempt to keep the family's private life in the news.
The short version is that paramedics were called to the Woods home early this morning, "someone" was taken to the hospital (
and later released), and a suspiciously similar black Escalade driven by a young woman with light hair followed behind. That's all the authorities are saying at the moment, but everyone is just going to assume that the hospitalized woman is Elin Nordegren's mother, (UPDATE: It was Barbro Holmberg and she's still in the hospital in stable condition.) who was the talk of the town yesterday when she allegedly dropped her own life and flew from Sweden to Florida to comfort her daughter in her time of need.
Also, the woman driving the Cadillac could have been Elin's twin—you forgot that the hot Swedish nanny also has a twin sister, didn't you?—who is also allegedly on comfort patrol. Finally, the Cadillac in question is not the one that was smashed, but the license plate is just one number off, which suggests that it came from the same leasing company that supplied the Woods' family with their previous vehicle. We are no longer witnesses. We Are All Detectives.
That's all we know so far, but this will keep going for awhile. Oh, and a state trooper thinks Tiger was hopped up on goofballs on Thanksgiving night, but we'll never get the answer to that. I don't believe any more women have come forward to admit to sleeping with Tiger Woods, but that may change when the rest of the West Coast wakes up.