Why The Browns Might Win A Game Today

The Cleveland Browns have lost all 12 of their games so far this season, but don’t count them out today. Here’s why their luck might turn around against the Cincinnati Bengals:

RGIII is back. Robert Griffin III is healthy and ready to play, and just in time, because his replacements Josh McCown and Cody Kessler have been flung around the turf enough. Even if RGIII lasts only two quarters, that’s still a significant improvement for the team’s offense. He can put together one or two scoring drives before Bengals linebacker Vontaze Burfict impales him with a first-down marker.

This would be the ideal game for Cincinnati to blow. The Bengals still have Marvin Lewis as their head coach, and if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s screwing up an easy task. He should thank his lucky stars that everyone’s focusing their scrutiny towards Jeff Fisher. Lewis is 0-7 in the playoffs after Burfict ruined an assured victory, and after receiving a one-year extension in the offseason, he’s followed up last year’s campaign by coaching a 4-7-1 team with the slimmest of chances to make it to the playoffs. This necessary win is the perfect opportunity for Lewis to squander.

Cleveland is coming off a bye. The Browns had an extra week to prepare for their divisional rivals, and they have played the Bengals once already. Their players are rested and healthier now.

One of Cleveland’s players broke his foot during the bye week. Shit, how’d this get in here? Sorry.

Cleveland is at home. Uh, that could help, right?

It’s snowing in Cleveland. The great equalizer in football is a small amount of snow.

Hue Jackson almost cried at a press conference because his team is so bad. 

The ultimate bulletin-board material comes from within. Don’t let our boss cry in front of us!

That’s all I have. Please do not use this article to own me when the Bengals lead 21-0 after one quarter.

Update (4:20 p.m. ET): They didn’t.