Winning seven NFL games in a row is hard — or is it?

Allowing Flacco to look competent at this juncture of his career has to be the low point of the seven wins. The Jets backup had more yards (291) than Tagovailoa (273) and the same amount of turnovers (one apiece). It took them 12 plays to go 45 yards to set up a lead-extending field goal late in fourth quarter, but it could’ve been a touchdown had they converted their fourth third and short of the drive. But they didn’t, and that’s fine. Fine also is the word I’d use to describe a 24-17 win over the Jets.

The subhead says it all. When you have to rally to beat the Jets, 31-24, because your quarterback threw a game-tying pick six, you’re begging people to start any conversation about your team with, “Yeah, but…” Kudos to Tagovailoa for not allowing Zach Wilson to upstage him even though he failed to surpass 200 yards and threw two picks. The definition of an ugly win is a one-score game over the Jets, and Miami has two of them.

The 17-9 win that started it all featured nine total turnovers, and that’s fortunate for Miami because it’s really hard to win when you give up the ball five times. Even though the Texans have the same number of wins (four) as the Jets, this was slightly more impressive because Miami did it with their backup QB, and the defense forced four turnovers against an arguably less sucky QB in Tyrod Taylor. (I pitched a “Who’s better: Flacco, Wilson or Taylor?” column, but editors didn’t bite.)

The Giants are Jets-level bad, but Miami won by two scores, 20-9. A two-score victory is the only reason this is a better win than the other two. You could even call that a technicality because I’m not sure this was that much more of a dominant performance seeing as the Dolphins pushed their lead to 11 via a field goal with 1:11 left in the game. Call it a technicality, call it a fluke, just don’t call it an impressive win.

The cavalcade of shitty/washed QBs continues with Cam Newton and PJ Walker, who combined to go 10-31 for 179 yards and three interceptions in this game. Again, credit to the defense because it’s not their fault this run of QBs looks like Batman’s shittiest rogue’s gallery. It also was the offense’s highest scoring game of the season, but the Panthers only have one more win (five) than the three other teams I’ve listed thus far, so… yeah.

I’ve already hit on this game, so I’ll make it quick. I don’t care how bad Book was, New Orleans has a good defense and is 7-8. That’s reason enough to bump a 20-3 W ahead of wins over four teams who’ve won 17 games as a collective.

We’ve reached it, the peak of the win streak. Before Jackson’s bout with IBS, he and the Ravens were atop the AFC. The Fins caught them in the hated mid-week game and shut down Jackson and his offense, 22-10. Since then, Baltimore is 2-4, demolished by injuries/COVID and tied with Miami record wise at 8-7.

So, we’re back where we started, trying to discern the validity of the Dolphins from a slate of evidence shrouded in miserable quarterback play.

The Dolphins will get their toughest test since the Ravens all those weeks ago in the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, so perhaps that will lend us some insight — or it could get fucked by COVID, and we’ll have to tip our columns to them for beating who’s on the schedule.

That’s no fun, though, so let’s downplay their accomplishments and call them frauds. It’s certainly better repeating the old Bill Parcells mantra that you are what your record says you are — in Miami’s case, an 8-7 team that’s probably appropriately hovering around .500 — which is how I was originally going to end this piece.