Deadspin predicts the Women’s World Cup

Blum: Norway and Switzerland advance

Norway should win the group, with Switzerland also advancing as runners-up. That makes New Zealand the first host team to not only advance to at least the quarterfinals, but not even make it out of the group stage.

Fels: Norway and Switzerland

Easy to go with the two Europeans, but New Zealand is not up for this and won’t have the home field advantage that Australia has. Norway is on a mission here after getting totally pantsed at the Euros.

Blum: Australia and Canada

It’d be a shocker not to see co-host Australia and Canada to be the two teams to advance from this group, it’s just a matter of who wins between the Maple Leafs and Aussies. I’ll go with Sam Kerr’s group.

Fels: Australia and Canada

Chalk again, but the Aussies are primed for a run in front of a ravenous home crowd. Canada has a lot of problems and seem a little thin in some areas, but not enough to lose out to Nigeria who have even bigger problems with their own FA.

Blum: Japan and Spain

Although this is a much older Japanese side than the last team to win the Women’s World Cup which wasn’t the United States in 2011, they have plenty of talent and benefit from an easy group. Spain will also advance despite a lack of deep-round World Cup experience.

Fels: Japan and Spain

Japan seems to be rounding into this one, and Spain have just enough divisions in their team to not win the group. Zambia is going to shock one of these two with at least a draw, and my guess in Spain who will have like 85 percent of the ball and then get hit on that one break.

Blum: England and China

The Three Lionesses strike me as the boom or bust team of this tournament, where they’ll look like the team that beat the United States at Wembley last year or completely underperform. I’ll go with the former, with China also getting to the knockout rounds in a minor upset.

Fels: England and Denmark

Tempted to say that England’s questions at center forward and depth might even see the Smash TV Danes sneak through as winners, but this is still an England team that kind of waltzed to the Euro final.

Blum: United States and the Netherlands

This won’t be smooth sailing for the USWNT, but the Americans will still win the group. And I just can’t see the Dutch going home that early, even though I could see Portugal taking their spot in the knockout stage.

Fels: United States and the Netherlands

Was wondering if Vivianne Miedema’s injury could see Portugal slide in ahead of them for second, but Lieke Martens is still here.

Blum: Brazil and France

Two CONCACAF teams against two world powers? Yeah, I’m going to opt out of North America and choose Marta, because not seeing her in the knockout rounds will be a travesty. Oh, and the French too, I guess.

Fels: France and Brazil

Bunny Shaw is going to make one of the two favorites’ heart race for at least a few minutes, but these two are clearly the class of the group.

Blum: Sweden and Argentina

Sweden will win the group. South Africa won’t get a point before flying home to Johannesburg. Italy and Argentina will kick off the group stage against each other and the victor will advance. I’ll go with the Argentines in an upset.

Fels: Sweden and Argentina

Argentina catch a break in that they’ll play Sweden likely after the latter has already clinched the group, and we could see some serious last-day shenanigans to see them through to the knockouts for the first time.

Blum: Germany and South Korea

The Germans should jog to win this group. It’s a matter of who avoids the loss to the European giants the longest, and South Korea drew the lucky straw.

Fels: Germany and Morocco

Morocco seems to be the only team in this tourney whose FA is actively boosting their program, and they’ll show how much difference that makes when they beat Colombia in the final group game to go through.

Blum

Norway over Spain

Give me a Guro Reiten extra-time winner in the 115th minute to send the Nords to the quarterfinals over a resilient Spanish side.

United States over Argentina

This might look easier than some of the USWNT’s group games, as Argentina will buckle and break against a ferocious American attack.

Switzerland over Japan

The Swiss present a challenge the Japanese didn’t get in the group stage with a solid combination of organization, discipline, and talent.

Sweden over the Netherlands

If you’re looking for an upset pick and think the Dutch are the way to go because they played the USA in the 2019 World Cup Final, look elsewhere. The Swedish are too damn good.

Australia over China

Here’s a Sam Kerr hat trick. China won’t score three against the co-hosts. Thanks for coming!

South Korea over Brazil

Here’s your Cinderella pick of the World Cup with the South Koreans pulling off the biggest upset of the tournament and ending Marta’s career on the game’s biggest stage in stunning fashion, because Brazil can’t have nice things.

England over Canada

Somehow these two teams fall into place against each other in the knockout rounds, when both would be prime candidates for being after the group stage. A coin flip sees England advance because it’d be more apropos.

Germany over France

I like the idea of France advancing more than England and definitely Canada, but they won’t slow down the Germans.

Fels

Spain over Norway

While Spain might muddle through the group stages, the knockouts will snap them to attention and give them enough time to gel after having to deal with different rosters throughout the past year.

United States over Argentina

An inspired Argentina keeps this closer than it normally might be, but the US’s class is too much.

Japan over Switzerland

Japan may be short of goals too, which would mean they could be primed to lose a game where they’re much the better team and get sucker-punched. But they could also make a serious run here.

Sweden over the Netherlands

Sweden is a powerhouse, and the Dutch aren’t without Miedema

Australia over Denmark

This is where being the hosts really kicks into gear, and Sam Kerr has her signature game.

France over Morocco

Certainly a tasty history here that doesn’t have much to do with soccer, but a suddenly harmonious France is probably going far in this tourney. The valiant Atlas Lionesses go out on their shields, though.

England over Canada

Too much turmoil for Canada, and though England might have scoring problems, they won’t manifest here against a Canada team that’s scored three goals in its last four games.

Germany over Brazil

Marta’s glorious World Cup career comes to an end far too early, but Brazil doesn’t have any answer for Lena Oberdorf

Blum

United States over Norway

This will be a tricky matchup for the United States but the Americans’ midfield is just too damn good and controls the pace of this collision.

Sweden over Switzerland

I thought about picking the Swiss here, as on a good day, they could beat Sweden. I don’t see a good day happening. It’ll be a bad day. And bad days aren’t ideal. Call me Nostradamus.

Australia over South Korea

Here’s another Sam Kerr hat trick. Just kidding, maybe. The Cinderella run of South Korea ends here to the co-hosts.

Germany over England

Here’s where the Germans might actually run into problems. Might being the key word, because they won’t, getting revenge for the EURO 2022 Final.

Fels

Spain over the United States

Yeah, I know, the USWNT never goes out this early. Until now. Spain’s B-team kicked the US’s ass up to their ears and now they have a good number of their top squad back. Spain has what the US doesn’t, a composed and dominant midfield that will strangle and separate the US’s defense from their attack.

Sweden over Japan

Sweden is a powerhouse, though Japan will keep this close, but their lack of a true goalscorer sees them undone here.

France over Australia

France’s still-eroding depth through injury is a real worry here to overcome the hosts and an in-form Kerr. Feel pretty dicey about this one, but I’ll go with the class over the momentum, while totally preparing to look like an idiot.

Germany over England

It was as tight as can be at the Euro Final last year, and now England is pretty beat up and Germany isn’t. Germany also don’t have any questions at the No. 9 spot like England do, and had Alexandra Popp been fit for that Final…

Blum

Sweden over the United States

A three-peat is something I just can’t envision and the Swedish are one of the only teams in the tournament that can do something about it.

Australia over Germany

The Germans appeared to be pegged for the final, but having an in-form Australian team on the world stage derails that plan, with a Sam Kerr hat trick! Ehh, maybe not that last part.

Fels

Sweden over Spain

We can’t have Spain win this, as that will only steel the Spanish FA in their stubborn and backward ways. So let’s go with Sweden for vibes.

Germany over France

France’s depth issues finally are too much this deep into the tournament, even if they’re a happy bunch now.

Blum

Sweden over Australia

Anything but penalty kicks to end this tournament, please.

Fels

Germany over Sweden

As this tournament has become something of a battle of attrition (someone charming and handsome has probably already cataloged this) it just feels like Germany have the most left standing. They have possibly the best midfielder in the tourney in Oberdorf, one of the best forwards in Popp, and a bit of a chip after losing last year’s Euro final. It would be cool to see a first-time winner, but that’ll have to wait for another day.

Golden Ball

Blum: Kosovare Asllani

Fels: Lena Oberdorf

Golden Boot

Blum: Sam Kerr

Fels: Sam Kerr