There’s nothing hockey seems to love more than its lineage or dynasties, at least among its playing ranks. If you’re the son of a former NHL-er, any skill above being able to lace up your skates properly will almost certainly see you get drafted. Bounce around on hockey Twitter even for just a little bit, and I’ll give you 3-1 odds that whatever player a fandom is bitching about on their team is the son or relative of a former or current NHL player. Even here closest to me, Hawks fans have had to put up with Alex Nylander and Caleb Jones in the past three seasons, and let me assure you neither can play dead. And I can assure you that wide swaths of hockey scouting haven’t gotten past bloodlines in the same fashion as horse racing.
A lot of hockey media yesterday afternoon would have been chuckling at a generational fight between Brady Tkachuk and Brendan Lemieux (further proof that anyone named Brendan is quite likely a penis). “Ha, just like their dads! Isn’t hockey great? Bringing families together!” they would be chortling between huffing a Timbo’s wrapper. We could go into how hockey is still horribly skewed to the wealthy at the youth level and sons of former players have an advantage even within that strata, but this whole thing is too stupid for that level of discussion.
Because what ensued was Lemieux the Junior emulating his shithead father and biting Tkachuk during a scrum late in the Kings 4-2 win over the Sens yesterday. Lemieux would get a match penalty and probably a suspension, and he also got one of the more stinging postgame soliloquies from Tkachuk:
This is the one time I’m going to answer this. It was the most gutless thing somebody could ever do. This guy, you can ask anyone of his teammates, nobody ever wants to play with him, this guy is a bad guy and a bad teammate, he focuses on himself all the time.
The guy’s just a joke. He shouldn’t be in the league. This guy’s gutless. No other team wants him, he’s going to keep begging to be in the NHL but no other team is going to want him, he’s an absolute joke. I can’t even wrap my head around it. People don’t even do this. He’s just a bad guy.
It’s outrageous. Kids don’t even do that anymore. Babies do that. I don’t even know what he was thinking, he’s just a complete brick head. He’s got nothing up there. Bad guy, bad player but what a joke he is.
Tkachuk isn’t wrong, of course. If Brendan’s last name was “Thompson” instead of “Lemieux” it’s likely he would have never been drafted, certainly wouldn’t have had parts of five seasons in the NHL, as it would have been concluded he sucks out loud long ago. He’d probably be screaming at some 11-year-old at a coaching position his dad got him in the Denver area. It’s also not a shocker that a kid growing up a millionaire and in a hockey culture is a complete dickhead. You could apply those labels to the youngest Tkachuk garbage son, but Brady can actually play.
It’s also fitting that the younger Lemieux is just like his dad, the toughest guy in the world when you’re not looking or there are two linesmen between him and his intended target/lunch. Their dads once fought, in which the Lemieux portio of it also got pretty well fed, just in a different way. Proving once again the apple doesn’t fall far from the moron.