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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Your Best Stories About Getting Dunked On Like The Losers You Are

Illustration for article titled Your Best Stories About Getting Dunked On Like The Losers You Are

We asked you to give us your best stories of getting dunked on and tales of dunking on people, but the former had funnier returns. There were many nuts—some from famous athletes!—in many faces. Here are some of our favorites, in no particular order.



I was playing in an AAU tournament in Kansas City when I was about 14. I was one of the biggest guys on a guard heavy team. I was 6'3" and maybe 140 lbs. Terrence Crawford was about 6'7" 215 (He later played at Oklahoma State) found me between him and the rim on a fastbreak. Now, I was scrappy and crafty so I stepped to the block to cut off his angle and hopefully take a charge. That dude just put his nuts in my face and dunked all over me. 20 years later I still wince when I think about it.


I am old, short, fat and white. For years, a group of men with similar characteristics gathered in a Catholic church gym every Tuesday night for two hours of pickup ball — mainly, we wanted exercise and to get out of the house for a little bit.

One night, one of the guys brought a 24-year-old, 6-foot-6 guy who'd played ball for four years at the Division II school in town. Completely embarrassed us the first game.

Second game, I stole a pass, drove down court and head faked the guy right out of his shoes, then banked in an easy 4-footer for 2 points.

"THAT, PAL..." I told him "... is why you played DIVISION TWO ball."

He dunked on me the next three possessions.

Shane Nicholson:

Attended UT and you'd run into members of the men's team at The Bubble (old indoor sports complex) sometimes during pickup games. Down there in 2003, CJ Watson and Ron Slay plus a couple other names I don't remember show up. We're playing 3-on-3 and win a couple in a row.

Slay hops on the team coming up against us next because he knew one of the kids, think he'd played with or against him before coming to UT. At 6'3" I was the tallest guy in our group by about five inches so I draw the assignment of guarding this mountain of a man. He slapped his sack off my forehead no less than a half-dozen times in the matchup. Playing ones, we lost 11-2 (I did beat him with a fadeaway jumper for my only basket of the game); I retired from pickup basketball on the spot.


In college at South Carolina I was playing basketball at the gym on campus when Sidney Rice and some other football players claimed "next." My team won and it was time for a good old-fashioned honkey bloodletting. On the very first possession, Sidney dunked on me, then swung his junk right into my face, literally putting a leg on either side of my head. It was the most aggressive teabagging I've ever seen and I just walked off the court and didn't come back. Ever.



When I played for Woodrow Wilson High School we played a school name Seagoville who had a young man by the name of Lamarcus Aldridge playing for them.

Our forward was fronting him in the post and he the ball thrown over his head (easy to do when Lamarcus had 5 inches on him). I came from the baseline to help and for some reason I thought I should jump because I could either block a future college star (4th ranked recruit at the time) or I could slap his arm, force the miss, and send him to line.

Well I slapped his arm but it didn't stop him or even slow him down. It was a two hand gather and my slap did nothing but make me look like Timothy Mosgov. On top of that we were at home but you couldn't tell by crowd reaction.

I think Lamarcus finished with like 30 that game. Not the only time I've been dunked on but certainly the most famed dunk I have experienced.



As a sophomore, I played in a tourney game against Gerald Green. Being 15 at the time, I assumed I was Gerald's equal on the court. The first trip down the court, he caught the ball on the wing, pump faked, and blew by me along the baseline to throw down a monster dunk. After that, I "adjusted" to his speed and he only dunked on me 4 more times on his way to scoring 40 points. He was/is an incredible dunker. I was/am a fairly crappy basketball player.



I went to college at K-State while Josh Freeman was there. We were playing his team in intramurals my senior year. Josh was a freak athlete and was a really good basketball player in high school. I am 5'10 and am strictly a spot up 3 point master. Josh was on a fast break and I was the only one back on defense. It was obvious that his only goal was to embarrass me so I just tried to take a charge. When he hit me, I was turned sideways and bent over trying to protect myself. He dunked it and screamed. I fell over with a whimper. James Franklin (was OC for K-State that year) jumped up and started screaming too in the stands. They called a charge. Fuck Josh Freeman.



I've been dunked on several times and they were all during my sophomore year of high school and all by the same person. I was on the JV team at a private school in Fort Lauderdale. We had a few guys on the varsity team who were on scholarship and were insanely talented. Then the rest of the team was filled out by us non-scholarship players who had no talent whatsoever and were basically just there to fill the roster.

I was on JV, but I'd often practice with varsity because I was one of the tallest guys there and they needed me to play defense on what of the varsity team's studs. I was guarding this guy in the post when he kicked the ball out to a sophomore guard, who was the team's best player. As soon as I turned, the guy was already in mid-flight halfway down the lane.

I was right in his path. He slammed the ball down and basically hit me in the face with hits nuts. I'm the tall, freakishly skinny white kid who just got dunked on by our team's best player. Think a high school version of Tracy McGrady dunking on Shawn Bradley.

Some version of that happened about four or five times throughout the year. At the end of the year, I moved to Ohio and played on a team with a bunch of guys who were at my level and never got dunked on again.

The guy who dunked on me? Former NBA player Keyon Dooling.


I dunked on a guy that eventually played D-1 at George Mason (I'm 5-11). I was dunked on by Chris Herren. To be more specific, he reversed dunked on me from a step over the free throw line on a transition 2 on 1 fast break. It may be the most impressive thing I ever saw.



I was a scrub in HS ball, played freshman year and some AAU ball growing up but by the time JV came around I decided I would rather get a job washing dishes and make a little cash rather than be a bench warmer on the team. A little more about me - 5'10", about 125 at the time of this story. I grew to that height in middle school and generally played in the post and never put the work in on my game to become a decent guard at a higher level when others quickly shot past me in height.

The highlight of my basketball career was playing in a tournament after our Freshman season. Basically everyone on the team plus a couple more guys signed up for some tournament at a place right off of I96 in Lansing (I want to say Aim High?) and were up against some AAU travel teams. Most of them were from Michigan and some from neighboring states. We made it through round robin play and the first game of the bracket were up against a Flint team which included Mr. Basketball in the state of MI that year, Kelvin Torbert.

We were way outclassed on the court and it was showing on the scoreboard. My coach decided to pull all the starters and put the scrubs (me) in to the game while the other team still had their first 5 in. A couple down and backs happen, and then my team turns it over at the top of the key getting in to our offense. I was the off guard and hustled back to defend the ensuing break.

When I turned around somewhere near the free throw line on the opposite end I see Torbert bearing down on me. I freeze and thinking to myself "this is going to hurt" I cover my crotch, get ready to take a charge and close my eyes.

The charge never comes. Eyes still closed, the gym comes down around me, people are going crazy. Torbert had just jumped clear over me for a dunk on the fast break. Dazed, I look toward my bench and half my team mates are joining in the raucousness and the other half are wide eyed and shaking their heads. My coach calls a time out, and at that point the Flint squad pulls their starters - immediately following the only time I've ever been dunked on.

We lost that game by 40+ points. My organized basketball days were soon behind me, and my dish washing days were only beginning.



Jeff Maehl dunked on me in college.

I was the tenth and last person to join a pickup game at the rec center in Oregon because I was trying to wrap up a phone call with mom. The whole game was held up because of me, and when I finally got off the phone, Maehl told me it was gonna cost me.

Even though we're not in the same athleticism bracket, I was matched up on him because we were the same height. He dunked on me three times, one of them an insane oop that left me staring up at his mom-hating ass.

The worst part was, he kept apologizing to me. As if there was nothing he could do. I had brought mom into the gym, and now my fate was as a skinny whiteboy mop on the gym floor.


the cobra commander:

I got dunked on, and it was atrocious...I hadn't played in about 6 months and found myself wanting to hoop at the local gym, it seemed like there were a lot more youngsters there than I remembered, and one particular 5'9 kid fresh out of high school that had up's like I'd never seen before. I'm 6'1 and used to get up, but not like this kid. Anyways, we're on the court and my team is doing pretty well, that is until this Nate Robinson clone breaks away and I'm the only one back on defense, fouling intentionally in a pickup game is garbage, so I go up earnestly to try to make a play as he takes off...Awful choice. He proceeds to cock one arm back and come down directly on my head which is directly under him. the place goes absolutely bananas as he lets out a primal scream and I think about how to best fake an injury to get my ass off the court and out of the building. Haven't been back since.


Vince Carter dunking on you is a badge of honor, probably. Via gatorhead1013:

Got dunked on by Vince Carter during a summer team camp game at the University of Florida. UF was recruiting Vince hardcore so all the coaches were there watching Vince fly around and single-handily crush our team. We lost something like 84-42. Vince scored 48 and I can still feel the burn in my ear where his dunk hit me in the head.


Here's one story about dunking on someone, via John R:

I played at a small D-1 school and am about 6'5 (and white). We had a backup big guy (about 6'9 with a 36 inch vertical) who was terrible at basketball but he was huge and could really jump. We were playing pickup one day in the fall of my senior year and I crashed the offensive glass at the perfect time and tip dunked one right on top of his head. As he came back to the ground I was still hanging on the rim so I did what anyone would do, I kicked him in the back with both feet and screamed in his face. My friends still talk about it 4 years later and I have zero doubt they'll be talking about it 40 years from now.


Via Trewsa, this has a twist:

I knew I was about to be dunked on in a high school game. It was a fast break, I was only 5'8" and he was 6'2". I couldn't just let him fly by, people would know I was scared, and I couldn't let him dunk on me and have me flailing to the ground, so I did what I had to do.

As he rose up, I smashed my elbow into his crotch and he fell over my shoulder onto the floor.

I had won.

Slept in past 11:

I attended Illinois State in the 1970's and grew up playing basketball in greater Chicagoland. I played a lot in college and a handful of local high school standouts, then attending ISU, put together an informal league - similar to intramurals. Being among the handful of guys who put it all together, we put together a team stacked with the best players on campus (or rather, those not on the redbirds roster). We thought of ourselves as the best team on campus...

A team from nearby Illinois Wesleyan University wandered over one day and absolutely clobbered us. We might have stayed with them a bit for a while, but they were led by this 7-foot white blonde-haired kid that could shoot. I don't remember the score, but they surely doubled us up. The blond kid made absolutely everything. We could have played 7 on 5 and not had a match for his size and shooting. He was toying with us... laughing and joking the whole time. Towards the end of the game, facing much humiliation, the giant blond kind bolts down the middle, I feebly attempt to defend. He goes right up, throws down a giant dunk right over me, and the ball bounces straight off my head coming out of the hoop. I (and the team that held itself in high esteem) was completely humiliated.

As it turns out, the blond kid was Jack Sikma. To be fair, he seemed like a swell guy. Sure this was an NBA calibre-player whipping a couple of amateur college students in a glorified pick-up game, but he wasn't a jerk about it. Eventually he was drafted by Seattle and had a very solid NBA career. At the time he was a nobody D-3 player... but a couple of guys from central Illinois knew he could play. I rooted for him for years afterwards.


And one more, via cobra, brah!:

Toronto, summer, 1994: having just been accepted into Toronto's private catholic all-boys jock academy, I signed-up for the basketball camp in hopes of making the bantam team the following fall.

I could write a bunch of stuff about how great my crossover and step-back J were, but I won't, because in hindsight, they weren't. Anyways, one day after camp a few guys showed up to hoop at the request of the basketball coach. To put it into perspective, my alma mater this year is 33-0 in Canada, ranked #1 in the country and have beaten a few American AAU squads, so this isn't like a bunch of guys throwing up bricks on 9 foot double-rims... Anyways, in walks Jamaal Magloire. Two years my senior and already a full-blown adult, Magloire was tearing-down rims at Toronto's Eastern Commerce Secondary and had already become part of the city's lore.

As they are wont to do, a healthy game of half-court 3-0n-3 breaks out and soon enough some of us that stuck around to watch are being mixed-in with guys that are high school and collegiate stars. Needless to say, I'm well out of my comfort zone and it wasn't long until Magloire comes off a high screen and I switch with the guy guarding him. In an attempt to get the attention of the coaches, I decide to cross my arms and draw a charge...

Jamaal Magloire tomahawked on me so fucking hard and no word of a lie, I felt his dick hit me in the face. It was big.


Photo: AP