Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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Coming to a minor league ballpark near you are the ZOOperstars! They're a traveling group of... well, I'm not sure how to describe them. They're giant plastic representations of popular athletes, if those athletes were animals. For example, Cow Ripken Jr. and Whale Gretzky. And, of course, Tiger Woodschuck.

These creatures go around to various sporting events and, so they claim, entertain people. Some of them seem fairly clever to me... I like "Derek Cheetah" and "Peyton Manatee." Some seem a little forced, like "Dennis Frogman" and "Ken Giraffey, Jr." Some, like "Ichiroach Suzuki," "Dick Flytale," and "Deion Salamdanders" just plain frighten me. And some of them seem like the names that the actual athletes might use if they done day decided to star in pornography, like "Stallion Iverson," and "LeBronco James."


If I was in charge of promotions for an National League baseball team, I'd wait for the Dodgers to come to town, hire "Nomar Garciaparrot" and "Mia Hammster," and when Nomar went to the plate, they would stand on top of the dugout and just do filthy things to each other.

They look like a lot of fun, and I highly recommend them to any team out there looking for a fun promotion. From the quotes on their site, people seem to love them. In addition, there's a page here where you can suggest new characters, and I think they need a "Rob Deer."

ZOOperstars! Entertainment Shows []

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